Emily Merrell  00:00

Hey, my name is Emily Merrell. I’m a taco loving people connector. And I’m obsessed with playing the name game, and all things networking. I’m the founder of secondary society, a female focus networking community, as well as a business coach for female business owners passionate about bringing their business to the next level with the help of the fence, community and connections. I crave deep conversations and am continuously curious to see what makes people tick. And I’m invested in uncovering their stories with some life lessons along the way. This podcast is aimed to inspire and educate as you tackle your busy day. So join the conversation and tune in for the second degree podcast. Hi, guys, I am so thrilled today to have Janessa shears. She is a health consultant for entrepreneurs on today’s show today. So welcome to the second degree podcast. Hey, Emily,

 

Tanessa Shears  00:57

thanks for having me on.

 

Emily Merrell  00:58

Well, thank you. I first off want to apologize for my voice. I sound like Kermit the Frog this week. I think it’s a mixture of having a two year old at home. And the winter happens. I guess you get sick during it now. I don’t know. But I feel like everyone in their mom has some sort of voice altering effects happening at this time of the year. Yeah,

 

Tanessa Shears  01:22

I love it. I have a one and a three year old. So we’re in the same phase of life right now. Like everybody knows is running. So yes.

 

Emily Merrell  01:29

And it won’t stop till they’re 18 Oh my gosh, you have a one and a three year old. So you had your what a year and a half. Your oldest was a year and a half and the one year old was born or one? Yeah, yeah. Right about that. Right about that. That’s insane. How is it going with two kids under three? Honestly,

 

Tanessa Shears  01:49

you know what, it’s one of those things where it’s like, I was so freaked out. How do you how do you run a business when you have kids? Like, what do you wait, this person needs all my time. But this is what my business did. But it’s amazing. I find this. As soon as you become a mom, it’s like your ability to use small amounts of time. It’s like it’s a superpower that you get as soon as you become a mom. And it’s like, I was rolling. I was good. And then I got pregnant. I was like, Oh my gosh, how am I gonna do this with two babies, right? And then it’s just amazing. Now you just you naturally just make space, your capacity expand. And it’s just such a cool gift. Being a mom and watching that happen in real time and realizing that you know your business as a third baby, you don’t leave one of your babies unattended. You’ve just adapt.

 

Emily Merrell  02:28

Yes, I think you nailed it. And it’s so funny how often having a baby or being pregnant is kind of like the kick in the hook so that you need to actually do the things that maybe you have put on the bottom of your to do list. So when I was pregnant, I feel like that’s when I got the most organized in my business. And the most ahead of things that well before I was like, Whatever, I’ll send out that email this week and write it the day before versus like months in advance of preparation.

 

Tanessa Shears  03:00

Totally, totally. It’s about the work boundaries now to like, I know, you can look at my calendar. And you’ll know when I’m working so that I know mentally when I’m being a mom and when I’m working because before I just was like I’ll work now, and then I’ll work later too. But now it’s like nah, I gotta be mom. And then I’ve also got to be business. And so I think it really helped me actually set up some much needed structure in a lot of places, right? It forces structure, but efficiency with that structure. I

 

Emily Merrell  03:26

also think, and I’m curious if you felt this way, but empathy in terms of, I think back of like my 20s and working in a corporate place and seeing the moms being really efficient with their work, where I’m like, why aren’t they seen for happy hour? And like, why don’t they want to hang out with the team. They’re such like, not team players. And now I get that I’m like, Get the eff out of wherever you are. So you can prioritize things that are a little more valuable than cocktail hour, right? If

 

Tanessa Shears  03:57

priorities just shift to like, I find like I’m in my mid 30s now, and I’m just, I’m really just anchored in home life and spending time with family and doing things I want to do. You know, and that just those just priorities have changed. It used to be to go out with friends all the time. And now it’s just really like, Hey, I love my husband. I love my family. I love my business. I love to exercise. And this is just where I want to put more of my time.

 

Emily Merrell  04:20

So before you were a mom, were you always in the health and performance world.

 

Tanessa Shears  04:26

I actually fell into it by accident. So I was a lifeguard swimming instructor for a long time. And when asked how I paid my way through university and when you are in the pool for four hours at a time teaching, sneezing six year olds and four year olds how to blow bubbles underwater. I was so cold and I remember going to the supervisors and I was like anything to get me out of the water. What can you give me they’re like, Well, if you want to teach the seniors Ah COVID class on Fridays at two I was like sure, whatever. So I got certified to become a fitness instructor and I was like, Wait, this is so cool. And so I will popped into my university registrar’s office. And I was like, I don’t want to be a news anchor anymore. I want to do something with health. And so I switched my whole degree over and just naturally like leaning into the fitness industry became a personal trainer, opened my own personal training business 10 years ago, and now I work fully online with entrepreneurs as a health consultant, helping them you know, clear out their brain get consistent health routines, eliminate brain fog, and really function well on their business.

 

Emily Merrell  05:22

That is incredible that you had from lifeguarding to like the old older people were your was your gateway drug into into this world of fitness. Have you done anything with like the elder population since that moment,

 

Tanessa Shears  05:37

I always taught the seniors or COVID classes, I used to teach like six or eight of them a week, it was just, I lost my voice for a long time. But ya know, I never really actually went that route, I found that I’m very high energy and I love like the high impact stuff like that. So naturally gravitated when I was teaching a lot more to like, the power lifting and the plyometrics of box jumps and the more explosive type things which I don’t think lends lens incredibly well to the senior population. My back,

 

Emily Merrell  06:06

man, that’s fair, that is completely fair. And also I detect a little bit of an accent. Are you Canadian? Yeah, sure. I am. Eastern Canada.

 

Tanessa Shears  06:17

I’m in Vancouver,

 

Emily Merrell  06:18

you’re in Vancouver, my husband’s Canadian. So I, there’s, there’s like certain word phrases, like the way you guys say University, I feel like is a giveaway for me that it’s Canadian. It’s so funny.

 

Tanessa Shears  06:31

How do you say University?

 

Emily Merrell  06:33

Like I went to I went to I would probably say college like I went to college at this place, even though my college was a university. And he will always say like, oh, in grade six, versus like the sixth grade? Yeah,

 

Tanessa Shears  06:50

I would totally say great.

 

Emily Merrell  06:53

That’s so funny. Yeah, there’s like certain nuances that I hear in the like word structure. That is just always so to me, at least I’m curious if outside people outside of our listeners would pick up on you being Canadian. Oh, that’s funny. Yeah. Which is, in degree two, I think I’d probably say major like, oh, yeah, I changed my major.

 

Tanessa Shears  07:15

But it’s the same thing. It’s not great. Yeah. Great.

 

Emily Merrell  07:19

What’s your Anywho? Squirrel aside? What were you seen about brain fog? So tell me about brain fog like this is? This is something that you help six and seven figure entrepreneurs wide? Why is this important to you? And why is it important to an entrepreneur to have a sharp and clear mind?

 

Tanessa Shears  07:40

Yeah, the brain fog part of my business came into very sharp focus, no pun intended. When I had when I had my first daughter, I had my my breasts and pillow, sitting on my desk, baby sleeping on the pillow typing a newsletter. And I just remember not being able to like even write sentences. I was like, What is going on? Like, I can’t, I can’t come up with content. I can’t put sentences because it’s taking me forever. I’m so distracted. Like, I feel like every dang and wing on my phone, and I’m off doing something else. Like it’s taking me forever to do anything. And I was like, you know, what’s really changed lately is my sleep was like, interesting. And so it was during that point where I was like, You know what, I’m going to hack my sleep one thing at a time on Instagram for everyone to see and show them the change in my sleep metrics. And it was during that that was by way back in 2020. And I’m like, hey, this actually made more of a difference than the exercise and the food combined. It was like, this is actually the foundation on which everything else is built. And so when we start thinking about brain fog, like, it’s just like I was saying, it’s that lack of clarity can’t come up with things very quick, you’re easily distracted. And the way I like to equivalent it is, you know, imagine yourself walking on the beach, and you’re walking along, but it takes more effort, right? It’s not very, it’s not easy. Thinking I feel is the same way as if you were thinking while walking in sand thinking through sand. It’s like you can do it, but it’s not as effective. And I you know, I’ve been invested in health a long time, I’ve got a long span of career and health. And it wasn’t until I really mastered sleep, that I started waking up. And I was like, Well, I’m really clear. Well, look at me, I’m not distracted. That was supposed to take me eight hours. And it took me six and I’m like, What do I do with these two hours? Do I work out? Do I spend more time with my daughter? Do I start that business project? Do I organize this closet? And I started recognizing like, no, no, no, sleep isn’t taking from my productivity. It’s giving me productivity. It’s giving me energy. This is how I’m supposed to feel in my life. And I’m a better CEO on top of it. And so this just kind of became that spiral that is now my business which focuses on all aspects of health but on a foundation of good sleep.

 

Emily Merrell  09:48

I can 1,000% get behind the good sleep foundation. I’m curious to hear when your clients come to you or when you meet. I know we were talking earlier. I think a lot of this This probably happens in conversation that you have with individuals. So what what are the problems that they typically say, that are like, Oh my god, this is an ideal client for me, or this is someone I know for a fact I can help them heal a

 

Tanessa Shears  10:15

portion of their life. Yeah, tired in the morning and struggling getting out of bed. It takes they’re really distracted during their day, and they get a crash in the afternoon. And then they’re just feel like they’re drained. They can’t even be present with their kids. After that all they have the energy for is to watch TV, even though that’s not what they’d be doing. If they had the energy, or people that are like I have, I only get six hours of sleep per night. Right, or I work late at night, because I need to get a little more more done, because I didn’t get enough done during the day. And that’s why I’m not sleeping well. And there’s all these just little things. And really, if you look at them, they’re just as we build these companies and these businesses, a lot of our focus goes into getting them up and running, maybe getting a couple team members in place. Everyone wants to cross that six figure mark, and then all of a sudden, you’re aiming for 300,000 and then you’re aiming for the million. It’s just this natural progression. And we tell ourselves like when I get a team in place, and I can delegate that I’ll make time for my house. When I get 10,000 elements 50,000 Then I’ll make time when I when I when I and all of a sudden we have these businesses, and we feel terrible. We have dust sleeping well, we’re not eating well. There’s nothing consistent. Everything feels so overwhelming. How the heck am I going to fit this in my schedule is so full and aren’t even know where to start. Like there’s 50, Health influencers, all saying different things. I’m so confused. I’m gonna go back to focusing on my business.

 

Emily Merrell  11:42

A man, I feel like this can be church right now. Oh, no, yeah, in the back. So what do you recommend? What is good sleep mean? And what does that look like, is a good

 

Tanessa Shears  11:53

sleep is being able to fall asleep within 15 minutes, stay asleep throughout the night, and wake up feeling refreshed. Like, those are things that I think usually one of those three is missing. And I mean, we can get into the details of like, there are different types of quality sleep that affect your brain, you know, their deep and REM and this is how much sleep. But if you’re waking up already tired. That’s a good indicator that your sleep may not be quality, you may not be getting enough.

 

Emily Merrell  12:26

And it’s funny that you know, good sleep, I feel like I’ve talked to so many people who are like, Yeah, I don’t sleep well, I take an Ambien or I don’t sleep well, I drink a bottle of wine before I go to bed. Or you know, so I can fall asleep better or i i eat an edible or whatever the melatonin, melatonin melatonin so hot right now, like whatever the thing is, it’s usually there’s an aid to help them get there. But then the sleep still is not good or it’s disruptive. Or they keep waking up in the middle of the night. So if we were clients of yours, what would you what would you have us do?

 

Tanessa Shears  13:05

The first thing I love to look at is are we actually getting enough sleep because I equip all my clients with an aura ring. Oh, you are a and this is like the pinnacle for tracking rest and recovery. It’s not your activity tracker. It’s a rest and recovery tracker. And I use this data to pinpoint where the missing links are. And so our brains as entrepreneurs, we like return on investment. We like data and we like making decisions on data. So I use that same principle to get buy in because sometimes it’s really hard to put down the phone to turn off work for sleep. But when you start really seeing the results, it’s like getting results on a Facebook ad, right? You’re just like, Okay, this is this is working, whether I feel it is or not like the data says it’s working. And so I always like to look at first well, if we’re going to get enough quality sleep, you need to at least be getting sleep, enough sleep and most I would say most entrepreneurs are in that six to six and a half hour time asleep ballpark. And one of the first aha moments that I often share with them is okay, if you get into bed at 1130 and you wake up at 630. That’s seven hours, right? I was here if you people say is I’m getting seven hours of sleep. That’s not technically true. Most people spend you won’t even believe this about an hour to an hour and a half awake in that time. This is time to fall asleep. Your kid wakes you up. You wake up to pee, you wake up overheating time waking up in the morning any of those things and our ability, everything that’s going into our day our nervous system, our wind down routine is directly affecting our ability to stay asleep. So if you take let’s low end an hour, if you take that off seven and a half hours sleep, you’re getting six and a half. And now it starts becoming less puzzling. What we’re so tired all

 

Emily Merrell  14:50

the time. Mm hmm. And so what would you recommend seven and a half hours is like the standard that people should be getting every night at least. Yeah,

 

Tanessa Shears  14:57

I like looking at it as a process of expert or mentation instead of saying here is the answer. So I like to make suggestions and my clients make decisions. And then from there we experiment. So for example, I will say, Hey, you’re getting sick. Let’s aim for seven right now, because that might feel more attainable. And then what I like to do is say, Okay, you’re on seven hours of sleep, how do you feel right now? And then we’ll get we’ll look at the data, we’ll get some subjective measurements. And then I will say, Great, let’s bump that up by 15 minutes. Do you feel better? And we will do that. And I find that most people, it’s between the seven and a half hour and eight hours asleep. When they’re like, Okay, this feels good. And I don’t notice I feel better with more. And so it’s looking at what is a one week experiment we can commit to so that we have data to contrast our current experience with, and then we get to make a decision whether it is something we want to keep or not. Yeah,

 

Emily Merrell  15:49

I love that. And so yeah, and sleep is so different for every single person, my brain was just was running through what I would used to say at the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey. Like I don’t need much sleep, or I operate great on little sleep, I love the adrenaline that I tap into. And now I want to punch that young version of self because I feel like she’s given me a few gray hairs, and definitely shaved a year or two off my life by the lack of sleep that I got. So when you meet these naysayers, the versions of me from a few years ago, like what do you what do you do? When they’re so adamant that like, they don’t need sleep?

 

Tanessa Shears  16:30

Yeah, well, I mean, I always ask them, What are they contrasted with that with? Do they know there is not a better experience? Right. And I think like we, we don’t truly understand what this concept is called baseline resetting. And it’s very similar to, you know, when you have like a glass of wine, and you’re like, I don’t know, if you’re like, I had one glass of wine just two hours ago, I think I’d be okay to drive, you know, that narrative we’ve all had in our head. And then you’re just like, I think I’m okay. But like, really, you have no idea. I don’t know, I just same as with sleep. And it’s called baseline resetting. And I think the research study that study that showed that it’s after I think it’s 10 nights of getting in that six hour range, your brain resets its baseline for cognitive performance, and you no longer are actually aware of the deficits that you are experiencing, it seems normal, and so you no longer able to perceive the level of what we can call like mental and toxication now. And so you’re like, I’m fine. But that’s only because our brain no longer recognizes and strives for good sleep anymore.

 

Emily Merrell  17:34

Wow. That’s incredible. I feel like as so I’m someone, I’ll share that I love waking up early in the morning. And that was not something that people that was not like a version of self fro ease, and that that took time and discipline. And oftentimes a lot of clients would be like, Oh, Emily, I will never wake up before 8am, let alone 5am. I’m like, no, no, you don’t understand that it is a game changer. It is a life changer, you’re gonna go to bed early, or you’re going to actually get the shit done that you wanted to do in the morning. And then like, I will never do that. And I always said the same things to myself. But to your point, just those like 15 Minute Changes, wasn’t like I went from 8am to 5am. You know, you just kind of subtract some time until it happens. Is that what you recommend? Is that the right technique?

 

Tanessa Shears  18:25

I don’t know. Yeah, I love the small changes. I’m actually working with a client now who was very, not like willingly resistant, but like in her brain resistant that this could work even if she was willing to try it. And her sleep rhythm was probably about two to 10. And she was running a seven figure very successful business. And but the thing that she was missing, she’s like, I feel okay and arrested. But I don’t get to see my kids off to school in the morning, which means I don’t see them for a whole day. And I want that. Wow. And we’re not and she’s like and I feel so like I literally get up at 10 and I’m like crap I should be working. Why don’t you straight into work straight into adrenaline skips breakfast because who has time for that straight the coffee sets the nervous system once. Once the body with glucose like brain fog is setting in, just go go go I’m not doing enough all starts the day feeling behind. And it’s taken about four months because we had to really deal with the resistance in the back of the brain as well. But now she’s at an 1130 to 830 rhythm and considering hour and a half. But she’s able to start seeing her kids off now. She only gets 10 minutes but the biggest transformation has been like the day start feeling so rushed. Like can you imagine what a day would feel like in your business if you didn’t feel behind or rushed all the time? Like what alone would that do for your mental peace and really, that’s why we started businesses mental peace, freedom, feeling grounded time for the things we want present good relationships, like we didn’t start it to feel like we’re on this fight or flight roller coaster, but that’s what we end up on. And so sometimes it’s like But maybe it’s not about the 5am Wake up or this ad and wake up. Maybe it’s maybe it’s more to do with the presence of life that I’m missing out on because of how I’m starting my day. And if not, it’s not well rested. There’s room for change. 1,000%

 

Emily Merrell  20:14

agree with you. And I think, to your point, I’m how frustrating that must have been for your client to realize that she was missing those key pivotal moments because she was exhausted and had to, or I’m sure her narrative was like, I do such great work at night, or I have the most focus that night. But imagine Rehak in your day, and who knows, maybe in another year, she’ll be a 5am person at bed in bed by 9:30pm. Right? Well, I

 

Tanessa Shears  20:42

think the coolest thing was like over the holiday, she had 18 people staying at her house, which is extraordinary. But she’s like, I had to let go of the sleeping rhythm while I had family over. And she goes, during that two weeks, it was the first time I really recognized how much that routine gave me peace. How much that just getting enough sleep at a time of night that like was optimized for sleep like, she’s like I craved my routine. And I never thought I would have been one of those people. But like I said, until you’ve had both experiences, it’s hard to believe that that’s the right fit for you.

 

Emily Merrell  21:17

I think another thing that you just illustrated too is when you’re off a routine and you get up at 10am and you eat make bad choices, continue to make bad choices throughout the day are not bad choices, just not choices that fuel use in the same optimization. So what advice do you have for people that they feel too busy to eat properly? Or the first thing that they do is grab that cup of Joe and a giant straw and suck it down to give him that jolt? How would you reimagine starting in the morning?

 

Tanessa Shears  21:50

It’s interesting, this conversation just came up on our on our group call this week. And she was like, Yes, when I get through this, then I will have time for this. But that deadline had passed multiple times. And I really just I think it’s connecting with understanding like, what do you believe you’re going to experience or feel once you have achieved this? And she’s like, calm? And I was like you know that it’s not a prerequisite to finish these things to feel calm? Like, do you recognize that you can still go through your day and your morning and feel calm now. And or you’re going to feel overwhelmed. It doesn’t make you any more productive, to feel overwhelmed while you work versus calm while you work. So why are you delaying the choice to feel the way you want to feel? And so we have this kind of conversation about looking at like, how can you intentionally spend time at the beginning of your day, getting yourself into the state that you want to live in now instead of waiting for conditions to change in the future? And I said it’s not to be long? What if you took five to 10 minutes to get your brain into the feeling you want. And like I love doing sound bath some people too, right? Some people like to go for a walk without being plugged into headphones. Some people like to be jacked up with music, but like, what do you want to experience as your as your life goal? And then why are you waiting? And like what have you spent 10 minutes creating that like, if you know that the goals you’re chasing the productivity you’re chasing is not guaranteed to make you feel that feeling? How long are you willing to go through your life feeling overwhelmed and stressed before you just recognize like, why am I doing this? And once you say, Oh, you’re right. When you when you truly see that you are making a deliberate choice to delay feeling good in the pursuit of something that will make you feel good, it almost seems pointless. Yeah.

 

Emily Merrell  23:38

Well, so I want to hear more about your morning routine. I love that idea of the sound back. Can you kind of walk us through what a typical life in the day in the life of me says yeah,

 

Tanessa Shears  23:50

well honestly, my days vary throughout the week. And I think that’s the first thing is that your mornings don’t always have to have the same routine. Sundays and Thursdays I am starting where I’m like you I’m up at five days. I’m right into work because I’ve got little kids like and we know that sometimes those are those really quiet hours and that’s when I get my some of my good work done in my content creation. My newsletter right in the creative stuff comes at 6am on two mornings a week I started workout at 6am Right. And then on the other mornings per week I read so really it’s just like feeling different cups. One of them is a movement cup. One of them is a fulfillment in business and the creative tap one of them is like doing my reading is my favorite thing but the sound bath has actually been something I’ve just brought in recently and if you’re listening and you’re like what’s a sound bath? There’s basically this this is this is my my beginning of my journey into the Wu as I’m learning oh yes welcome

 

Emily Merrell  24:46

welcome.

 

Tanessa Shears  24:47

Alright, alright, there’s all these bowls, and they’re called singing bowls and they take this I don’t know what it’s called stick of some kind of rub the top of it and things at these frequencies that are supposed to be aligned with certain emotions and But I tried for years to meditate years. And I was like, my brain is too busy. It talks too much. I am bored. Like, I won’t do a sound bath less than 20 minutes because I feel robbed of an experience. And it’s it’s just I think it’s when you find your thing. So I subscribed to an app called Aloe moves, and they have sound bass on the app. And I found them by accident. It was a serendipitous, a client talked about it. And then all of a sudden, I stumbled by accident into this wrong menu. But I just like I’ve decided, like, I want to be in love. I want to come from love, I want to create from love, I want to feel that way in my life. So I tune into that after those workouts, or before I go to sleep, and I’m just like, I am in charge of how I feel. I’m not leaving that up to the responsibility of someone else. circumstance, my business and I’m not always saying this is easy. And I have full control because before we jumped on your we’re talking about the nervous system effects, Facebook ads, and what they’re doing right now. But like, I am controlling what I have control over,

 

Emily Merrell  26:04

choosing what I can choose. And I love the example of the sound bath because to your point, I think it’s a great gateway into relaxing and winding down. And I like that you use it after some rubbing yourself up with a workout. And it’s an I will also love your diversity of your mornings I I do love a morning workout. And I would pride myself on a seven AR and the 6am workout like that was my favorite thing in the entire world. And then having my son, I wake up at seven, so it felt really rushed, being like, Okay, I’m at that five shoving oatmeal on my mouth, running into the workout class, coming back then waking him up. And I was like, Oh, I really liked that time now for me, from five to seven to be really selfish. And I do my Wordle that’s the first thing I do. I it’s like, I do a wordle crossword puzzle journal that I like to read, I’m like you and then do the hardest thing I have to do in the morning. Just finish it. Everything that I’m going to procrastinate, procrastinate on later can happen, but do that thing I need to do. And then I can be present when I’m with my son and then I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this too. But being an entrepreneur, we crave these lives of lunching whenever we want to or having flexibility to do things on our time. Yet I still sometimes program myself in a very corporate mentality. So that workout in the morning feels very corporate when I could be doing it at 930 instead or at four instead. So I think it’s to your point just like re evaluating your your energy and direction of it and

 

Tanessa Shears  27:46

switching it up. Like once I’ll be like okay, wipe the slate clean. What do I want to do in my mornings? What do I want to do? When do I want to coach clients when do I want to do content and just like switch it up I have tried experimented with five days a week in November quickly I was like nervous system wise I like for I keep coming back to four. And you know what I mean? I think it’s that experimentation and realizing there are different seasons literally in the business and outside like when it’s sunny out my I’m just in a different place. I live in Vancouver it is very rainy here in the winter and like there’s different I think seasons in motherhood or parenthood and where you are, how old your kids are and how much you want to be working and not working any variable to work when they’re around or not work when they’re around and I think just that constant permission to do it all over again. Yeah, as what fits with how you want to live how you want to feel.

 

Emily Merrell  28:35

I think that’s such a great reminder it doesn’t have to be etched into stone stone and tattooed on your body that this is permanent

 

Tanessa Shears  28:42

experiments in your health. Yeah, why don’t we just give it a week? How do you feel the site again?

 

Emily Merrell  28:48

Well, I think it’s it’s we’re recording this it’s January 4 And a lot of people will set out good intentions your resolutions I’m doing dry January for the first like real commitment to dry January. I’m so excited about it. I usually I’ve always felt really daunted by it like oh this is so overwhelming. Generally speaking I don’t typically drink during the week to begin with so that was like the first thing that makes has made it easier. They don’t drink during the week well before in my 20s You told me to do dry January till you go after yourself like completely different life stage where the two drinks I drink on the weekend like that’s not as hard to eliminate from my repertoire for a

 

Tanessa Shears  29:32

month. Totally just seasons right seasons for all types of health habits.

 

Emily Merrell  29:36

Yeah, I think it’s great. My I have a final question for you regarding going to sleep and and go actually falling asleep. And I think this is a big objection that comes up with people in their sleep is I’m going to bed when my husband goes to bed or I’m laying in bed at the same time my wife goes to bed or I can’t sleep unless they’re in the bed with neck To me, and he doesn’t sleep till two in the morning. What recommendations or advice do you have for people to put their mask on first?

 

Tanessa Shears  30:08

Yeah, you know what’s interesting? And this, I mean, surprise me in a good way, you’d be amazed the amount of couples that sleep in separate beds. Right. And that’s, it’s something that had never dawned on me. But it’s very common. And it’s like, it’s not that we don’t love each other. This is a protection of our rest. Now, I mean, I don’t do that personally, but I’m still to this day, in awe of how many people choose that for themselves. I don’t have an extra bedroom. Although that might be an optional, sometimes I don’t. But having my husband was very much later than I was. And that was one of those things that I told him. I’m like, hey, what if we did this together? And I had to make the decision that if he didn’t want to, that would be okay, so my I am fast asleep by like, 845. Most nights is just, that’s the way my rhythm works. And I love it. He is usually on his phone or sitting on his computer, or watching TV beside me. And so I’m like, Okay, for this to work. I just need it to be quiet and dark. So I got myself asleep mask, puts on his headphones, and it works. And it’s like a It’s not it? Isn’t my ideal scenario. No, but do we get to be around each other? Yes. And so this is something else that works. It’s just looking at that compromises like okay, what is what do I really need? I needed to be dark, you need to be quiet. How can we do this, and then you still get to do what you want, I get

 

Emily Merrell  31:34

to do what I want. I love that. I think that’s a great compromise. My, my husband is probably would go to bed at 740 If he had the choice, especially as it gets darker in the winter. So he’s really grounded me into the earlier bedtimes. Where before, when I lived alone in New York, I’d be like, Oh my god, I’m working till three in the morning and then go into my 6am workout class. Like it was such a badge of honor. And now I’ve become grandma, we’re like, oh, I went to bed at 845. Or you’re not

 

Tanessa Shears  32:08

embracing the ground. My error though. Like I really feel like this is where it’s at. Like, there’s such a, my having kids was the best thing that happened to my sleep. It gave me such an anchor point that like they both go down at eight. I get directly into bed because I get ready with them. And I read until I fall asleep. Sometimes it’s 820 Sometimes nine o’clock. But there is such just a peace in knowing like I’m gonna wake up feeling good tomorrow. Like I know, I can tell if we’re out late one night because we have a family event like things happen. It’s not perfect. But I’m always aware of like, okay, I just need to embrace the fact that tomorrow I’m going to feel a little little more tired. But

 

Emily Merrell  32:43

like or maybe you’ll you will Oh, grandma. Yeah, exactly. Taylor Swift next album is called grandma era. So now I’m just getting

 

Tanessa Shears  32:56

laid on her concert tours. I don’t know where she’s gotten to bed by April.

 

Emily Merrell  32:59

The fifth maybe like we’re gonna sing one song tonight. And now we’re gonna go to bed. At 2pm exactly for it. Yeah, happy hour. Well, it was it’s interesting what you said about your kids and their routine. My, my son, we slept. We did sleep sleep training. And he started sleeping at 12 weeks. And like he’s the kid loves sleep, he has a very easy to, to change. And at seven o’clock sound machine goes on. And he’s like, okay, that time, and he’ll like, hold the bars and try to get into his bed, which I’m like, You are incredible. I can’t imagine how lucky. I’m very, very lucky with a good sleeper. But on the flip side, my mom, she’ll talk about me as a kid. She’s like, Oh, you never wanted to sleep. And I’m like, Mom, did you ever put any structure or routine around my sleep? And she was like, No, you made a noise. I came to you. I helped you. I did all the things. I’m like, Yeah, but I probably had no predictability in my schedule, or routine.

 

Tanessa Shears  34:03

Our children’s nap schedule is supreme. The family knows it. Anybody who makes plans with us knows it. And like, yeah, it’s limiting now but we also have the gift of not being up in the middle of the night and haven’t been likewise both of our girls slept through since about four to five months. But I think it’s like it’s going back to what we need. Its structure. Its routine. Its predictability. Its comfort. We do the same thing. shades go down red light goes on sound machine goes on sleep cycles on book happens. You know, there’s a shower in there some nights. It’s so predictable. It’s like I literally said this. I turn the sound machine on and the baby yawns. It’s like it’s weird. Yeah. And they get I interviewed I interviewed my, my three year old on my podcast, it was a really short interview. Oh, my God does Saturday conversation. But one of the things I said to her it says like why do we sleep and I’m a huge fan of programming her mind because I didn’t get the gift of understanding like sleep and nutrition and movement as a kid like that wasn’t the way my parents were raised. So I see that she’ll always say sleep is for energy and she she has a bad mood she does I feel better when I wake up and sleep makes me strong and like this messaging of like, we love sleep, we value sleep and like, given that this is my field, it might be a little bit easier but like I’m the messaging around health is firm and strong. It is for us, we make time for it is for energy and she repeats this stuff. Like she knows she needs a nap. Because she’s she’s not in a good mood or She hurt herself. She’s like, It’s okay, I’ll heal during sleep with

 

Emily Merrell  35:39

the lover. She’s a perfect spokesperson for your business. Also, do you like to nap? That was a question I meant to ask you earlier.

 

Tanessa Shears  35:47

I love a good nap. I think certain people are able to nap and certain people can’t. However, if you are able to nap, I think it is something that can be a well placed reset in the business. I usually just say though, keep it at least earlier than 3pm. If you want to feel better when you wake up, keep it 10 to 20 minutes any longer. Now a little groggy here. And if you struggle at all with any type of insomnia at night, not napping is not a good option. either. I find it just decreases the amount of willingness to sleep at night because you’ve used up some of your sleep during

 

Emily Merrell  36:20

the day. You change. I love a good nap. I think on the days that I feel. I feel like I’m stuck or I feel overwhelmed. Whenever I feel overwhelmed. Maybe this is just a fight or flight and I’m just nap is the flight. I will go and I will just give myself like a 15 minute nap. And I feel like I have so much more clarity when I come back to my whatever that task was, whatever that project overwhelm was at that moment.

 

Tanessa Shears  36:47

Yeah, absolutely. And for those of you guys are listening, you can’t nap. Go on YouTube and search up NS Dr. Non sleep deep rest. There’s a neuroscientist by the name of Andrew Huberman. And he has popularized this term of non sleep deep rest. But it is a form of progressive relaxation that has been actually shown to be more potent than a nap. It decreases your sleep needs. So if you were short on sleep, it’ll help catch you up and it boosts deep sleep, there’s so many benefits, it resets dopamine, it boosts serotonin. And you can do it for 10 to 15 minutes. But this is a really good alternative. If you’re like, I can’t fall asleep. I can’t nap but I need that reset checkout, just YouTube non sleep deep rest or an SDR.

 

Emily Merrell  37:31

Ah, okay, what a great pro tip. So last question for you is how can people learn more about you and your offers and getting rested?

 

Tanessa Shears  37:40

So if you’ve been hearing a lot of these tabs, and you’re just like, Ah, I’ll kind of want all them in one place, I have that and it’s called My entrepreneur’s playbook. And I’ve taken what I call the 12 best bio hacks to really help with those productive flowing mornings are the things that just make us feel good. And so every single one of those tips is linked to an episode from my podcast that takes it much deeper. Like you want to know the science of it, how to implement it, how it affects your business, you’ll get that whole kind of flow built in there and you can take deeper what you want, and that’s on my website at Janessa shears.com. And there’s just a little freebies tab that you can click through but otherwise I’m on Instagram. I hang out there all the time. I’m at nessa

 

Emily Merrell  38:17

shears I love that name Janessa by the way,

 

Tanessa Shears  38:20

it’s unique I’ve not met I’ve heard of another one but I’ve not met another one. You’ve

 

Emily Merrell  38:25

heard it it’s like a Vanessa and your your mom or dad was like oh, let’s just throw tea on it and

 

Tanessa Shears  38:30

and hey, man, man, they didn’t name me for three weeks I was name was baby. Oh, you were that’s my mom. My aunt was like, why don’t Janessa and everyone was like That’s it?

 

Emily Merrell  38:41

That’s amazing. Do your parents have like a bob and Susan type name? Or are they

 

Tanessa Shears  38:46

they’re Karen and Len and their other choice was Carolyn. You know what it might have been funny to them but then growing up being Carolyn to Karen in line. I’m kind of thankful that she was

 

Emily Merrell  39:00

one of my girlfriends Her name is Maria Sumeria if you’re listening and she’s like, Yeah, my parents honeymooned in Maria the island but didn’t like the spelling of Maria. So they made it up their own to every time someone meets her. They’re like Mariah. Like, it’s like a ray of sunshine. Not

 

Tanessa Shears  39:18

Mariah. Same with It’s Vanessa except with the tea. I’m

 

Emily Merrell  39:22

sorry. Yeah, the beauty of a unique name. It’s memorable. That challenging at first. So senesce are Vanessa with a tea. I have six fast questions for you before we wrap up. So my first question for you is tell us an unknown fun fact about you.

 

Tanessa Shears  39:41

An unknown fun fact. Ooh, spare time I’d organize a closet any day. Oh,

 

Emily Merrell  39:48

my God find over girlfriend. I have a

 

Tanessa Shears  39:51

joy and pleasure but a podcast on let me clean

 

Emily Merrell  39:54

and literally just hired someone to organize our friend hall closet because I was like I will never do this So she did a beautiful job. So anytime we’re in Denver let me know who would be a dream person to meet or to be connected with.

 

Tanessa Shears  40:08

I would love to meet Brooke Castillo she owns a Life Coach School she just there’s people you meet in the world and their brains forever change your brain because they think differently and she’s the first person that really just started changing the way

 

Emily Merrell  40:21

I think about the world. What Christie I feel like I’ve heard her name before but off to check her out after this. Okay, What show are you watching? Are you watching over your husband shoulder?

 

Tanessa Shears  40:33

We just finished our second full round through the Loki series. We are huge Marvel fans like ridiculous, but we literally finished these into we’re like, what, and then rewatch them all again from the beginning so that any where we rewatch Marvel movies for fun?

 

Emily Merrell  40:50

That’s amazing. Was this was the Blue Beetle, a Marvel movie? I don’t know DC I think those dc I watched it on a plane. I thought it was really entertaining. My husband’s like I I’ve never heard of that one. Anyhow, um, what book are you currently reading my reader friend? I

 

Tanessa Shears  41:09

read 99% fiction. So right now I’m actually reading a book called The made by Anita pros. And she I love reading books that are told from different brains. I don’t know the right word for it. But like, I think she has Asperger’s in the book. But it’s just beautifully told from a different perspective. where people’s brains that work different it’s just wonderful to hear the perspective of just a different narration. I like that. Is

 

Emily Merrell  41:37

she this isn’t the same made that was made into a TV show.

 

Tanessa Shears  41:41

Me? I don’t think so. I think this is a book that came out in the last year. Okay. Okay, there.

 

Emily Merrell  41:46

Yeah, there’s a TV show called made. And she’s like a single mom. No, not this one. I’m like, it doesn’t ring a bell. All right. Um, what is your favorite or most used emoji? This is a very serious question.

 

Tanessa Shears  41:59

Gotta be either the two hands up like the double high five or the monkey over his eyes and like,

 

Emily Merrell  42:07

a monkey is the best. Have you ever tried out the melting feature yet? That’s a good fan favorite. Like the OG that’s melting? Oh,

 

Tanessa Shears  42:15

I’ve seen this one. Yeah, found a good spot to use it yet.

 

Emily Merrell  42:19

Yeah. You know, if you want to mix it up with the cover dies. And then my final question for you. And I’m read. So now that we have a new season, y’all, I’m going to rework this question. But what permission? Do you want to give people who are listening today? Okay to rest.

 

Tanessa Shears  42:39

not feel guilty. Like, there is Oh, the only reason you feel guilty. If you’re carrying a story that you didn’t choose, it was probably installed as a kid by a mom or a friend or something you saw that told you don’t be lazy. Get off the couch, keep working. You’re not worthy unless you produce A’s. That permission that you are allowed to read your fundamental human right to rest. So don’t feel guilty and taking it.

 

Emily Merrell  43:08

I love that answer. Well, thank you so much for joining us on today’s debut episode of the second degree society in 2024. So excited to have you here and to hear your story and I’m gonna go take a nap. So this is great, chatty. Hey, I’ll see you later. Take care.