Emily Merrell  00:00

Hey, my name is Emily Merrell. I’m a taco loving people connector, and I’m obsessed with playing the name game and all things networking. I’m the founder of second degree society, a female focused networking community, as well as a business coach for female business owners, passionate about bringing their business to the next level with the help of events, community and connections. I crave deep conversations and am continuously curious to see what makes people tick, and I’m invested in uncovering their stories with some life lessons along the way. This podcast is aimed to inspire and educate as you tackle your busy day. So join the conversation and tune in for the second degree podcast. I’m your host, Emily, and today I am so excited to have what I imagine it’s going to be a very thrilling conversation, based on our pre conversation, the most incredible woman, Victoria Carr. She is a holistic psychologist and the founder of spiritual DNA activator, which I’m so excited to dive into more what all that means. So Victoria, welcome to the show.

 

Victoria Kar  01:08

Thank you, Emily, it’s such a pleasure. And I’ve been part of your second degree society for a year now, and I really admire your dedication to connect to women and hold those sacred spaces that we don’t get to experience very often in modern day world. So thrilled to be here. I’m so happy to be here, and I think my biggest like disappointment sometimes, is that I can’t be in multiple places at once, and when I host an event in New York, and I’m not at it, it is one of the biggest fomos that I feel because, as you saw when we met in person earlier this year, like when I when I’m in New York, I feel like I’m just floating with with energy and being around you all. I think New York changes you permanently, and you just take that energy wherever you go to witness you doing the same things in Denver and LA. It’s just really exciting and remarkable, and it takes a great leader. You know, you started the movement. Thank you.

 

Emily Merrell  02:23

You’re hired. You’re hired. You’re hired for my, my nice, um, my nice messages sent to me daily. That’d be wonderful.

 

Victoria Kar  02:29

I’ll be, uh, free. PR,

 

Emily Merrell  02:31

if you are, you really are already, um, speaking of New York. I don’t think the accent that I’m hearing is that of New York or even New Jersey, maybe

 

Victoria Kar  02:45

good cat. So I was born in Russia, which is a very interesting place to come from, and I think part of my evolution and interest in psychology is deeply rooted in the culture I’m from, because that part of the world has experienced a lot of trauma. Oh, my goodness, yeah. And I was a very sensitive child, so being born in the society that kind of like freezes emotionally and uses force as a way of getting things done, felt very conflicting to me, but as a child, you don’t know any better. That’s kind of like the language that the world is using now. And it’s not just in Russia, you know, you look at China, you look at Brazil, there are a lot of totalitarian regimes that are rising up. So I physically had dealt with that level of collective frequency by earning scoliosis. I actually had level three scoliosis, and level and level four is the hatchback of Notre Dame.

 

Emily Merrell  04:06

My mom had the surgery for it,

 

Victoria Kar  04:10

so I I healed myself, so I don’t have any scoliosis, and my body went through a lot. I’m on my third pregnancy, so it’s kind of like a miracle,

 

Emily Merrell  04:24

but when I’m not aware the braces or anything.

 

Victoria Kar  04:27

So there was a lot of physical therapy involved. And water swimming is also a beautiful, beautiful modality. But I think at the end of the day, it’s mind, body, spirit integration and actually understanding what you’re physically reacting to. So I carried the heaviness of the world on my shoulders, literally, and also my family got divorced, and my mom moved to United States, and I joined her when I was 16, I moved to California and lived in California. California for a while, and my accent was much worse. But anyway, I want

 

Emily Merrell  05:04

to pause you there. How was it you’re 16 years old? Did you speak English when you moved to the States or and, like, what was that? What was that transition from Russia to California? Like, for you,

 

Victoria Kar  05:18

it was wild. It was like a different planet. My primary second language is actually French. A lot of Russian girls speak French fluently because it’s a inheritance of those times when SAR society still existed in Russia. So for me, English was not as comfortable, but I had a great stepfather who actually helped me a lot. He did homework with me, ensuring that I’m not behind, but I had pretty good base academically. I’m just a nerd. I like to study, so that wasn’t too difficult. But then when it was time to pass SATs, and I literally just came to the country three months prior for my senior year, that was very tricky. My goodness, yeah, but it’s, it’s, it’s all great, and I don’t give after, you know, completing my Executive Masters at Columbia University. I don’t really pay so much attention to grades. My kids get like, free pass. I don’t ever call them on bad performance, as long as they try their best. But I come from a very perfectionist mentality, where I never had a B in my life, and obviously, you know, when you are immersed in a new culture and a new school system that is very foreign from what you know, it can be a huge obstacle when you have such level of expectation from yourself. And I remember, I got my first beef or government and civics, because the teacher probably still carried a lot of judgment around Cold War. And basically we were told that United States owns the moon. Because, you know, obviously we landed. It’s so interesting, because I consider myself more American.

 

Emily Merrell  07:25

You’re like, we landed there, yeah, like,

 

Victoria Kar  07:28

there was a Russian boy in my class, and he was like, Well, does it mean that Soviets own the space because they went there first? So anyways, I had, like, a lot of trials and tribulations, trial trying to self identify, because obviously I am Russian, but I have American name. My last name was Wilcox at the time, really, yeah. And I wasn’t, like, pronouncing it well, so it was like, Wilcox, you know, like, Hi, my name is Dori Wilcox.

 

Emily Merrell  08:04

Like, where are you from? Right?

 

Victoria Kar  08:05

But it all unfolded, and I’m very grateful to immerse in American culture on the West Coast, because I think it gives you the depth and also the perspective. But I couldn’t wait to go back to Europe, so I moved to Paris. I lived there for a little bit, and I came back to United States and lived in New York, and then I moved to Turkey, and I loved it. Absolutely loved Turkey. I love people. I speak the language colloquially. And now raise my children in New Jersey.

 

Emily Merrell  08:46

So would you have thought at 14 years old? I know you came over at 16, but if you were to talk to like 14 year old Victoria, living in Russia, and you know, Fast forward several years, like here you are. You’re pregnant with twins on your third pregnancy, you know, second batch of children, basically right? New New Life. And I know we’ll dive into this too, like the corporate professional that you thought you were going to be, you are not anymore. And do you think that the 14 year old in you would have seen this coming or been totally blindsided by it.

 

Victoria Kar  09:26

You know, I never felt that I belong in Russia, and it’s such an awkward feeling to be part of your own community and culture and not being able to feel like home. And I think for me personally, it had to do with the fact that my family was not a solidified unit, like I didn’t have a lot of times when I had my parents for dinner, I was raised by my grandmother, so that kind of like orphanage energy was very, very strong in me. And I always knew I will leave, because the timeline I grew up and in Russia historically had a lot of cataclysmic events. You know, Soviet Union was collapsing. It was really difficult to practice the values that my family stood for and my friends, you know, like I was witness of political assassination. It was horrific and awful. I saw a boy of my age taking his last breath. So there was never a feeling that, oh my god, like, this is the country, or this is the place where I’ll be safe forever.

 

Emily Merrell  10:47

Yeah, definitely that feeling of like instability and fear and looking over your shoulder must have, must have been in your everyday existence.

 

Victoria Kar  10:58

I connect very well with Venezuelan people, because what happened to Russia is economically, is very similar to what happened to Venezuela you know, complete devaluation of the national currency. And I am not in line with the political regime in Russia. It actually it’s a very big pain point for me to be of that country and also not being able to do as much as I want for that country, but it’s a perfect example of fear really paralyzing millions and millions of people, and this is how I found my own path around spiritual DNA, because we always talk about physical DNA, like, what are we genetically? You know, we come from a mom and a dad, but there is also another aspect of our soul expression, which has all of our past lives, all of our gifts, all of our predispositions. And I think Russian people, those people that are born in that part of the world, the true becoming is to find that inner bravery and inner value system to stand up against something that is corrupt.

 

Emily Merrell  12:20

And how did you and I think to your point also about, you know, going back to your childhood, I know, I know several people that came over with their family to the United States to to practice or immerse ourselves in, like the Judaism of their family, and that religion wasn’t, I don’t know enough about the history, so You could probably shed more light on it than I’m doing. But there’s a lot of religious persecution, persecution. So then fast forward into your like spiritual exploration. How did you get into spirituality, and how did you even take the steps to unlock what your spiritual DNA looked like.

 

Victoria Kar  13:01

So spirituality has always been a very conflicting topic in Soviet Union, because religion was prosecuted and Jewish people were prosecuted, but also priests in in Russian Orthodox religion was prosecuted. The current, current president, Putin. He actually represents a structure, collective societal structure called Caesar papism, where the head of the religion and the head of the government is one person. So technically speaking, Putin does not run the Russian Orthodox Church, but he deeply influences it. So Putin actually used religion as a form of unifying and also, I think, manipulating the masses, because there is a very strong kind of like patriotic feel that you see, especially around the war with Ukraine, which is a very deep topic, and I can spend hours and hours on that, but one thing that definitely hurts Russian people is the fact that They never landed properly, like the last three, four generations of Russians, they never had a chance to properly root in the places where they were born and the places that they lived, primarily because everything was run by the government. And if you are a lawyer and you graduate with the law degree, doesn’t mean that you’re gonna stay where you went to school, they may tell you, No, we need lawyers in Siberia, so back up your stuff and go. And you may need to leave your beloved or your family. No one really cared. So there is this lack of deep. A connection to the earth, and I think that’s what separates Russians from Ukrainians, because Ukrainians really feel the call of their land. And Russian people are pretty patriotic. They like they love Mother Russia, yet, experientially, when a human being doesn’t have a solid backbone around who they are. Like, I didn’t have a backbone that resulted in scoliosis. Literally, yeah, like, you know, like, I’m an embodiment of what collective struggle at that time was. So when you start making those connections, you understand how important it is not to perceive yourself only from the prism of human experience. It’s like, okay, physical DNA, but also energetically who you are. And that’s what led me to quit banking. I was a banker on Wall Street for 10 years, and deep dive in my own evolution as a human being, as a woman, as a mother, because I deeply believe that when people are on survival, they’re easily manipulated. And I found that motherhood kind of brought me to my knees because I tried, in my perfectionist ways, to be the best mother and the best bank, the best wife, but as you know Emily, you have very similar assignments, right, to be best entrepreneur and be present. Who’s Jackson, it’s it’s not always easy. So I had to really reconsider what my values are, and do I live my values, day in, day out. And when I was in banking, I thought my primary value was love, but my child was in daycare, and my now ex husband was eating cold dinner, so I’m sure he wasn’t very happy about it as well. But to make long story short, it was a very deep journey for me, like where I literally had to burn everything to the ground, including my identity, because I think sometimes we hold those identities of a mother or wife or banker or Russian with such egoic addiction that it puts a certain prism on the way we perceive the world. And I went through dark night of the soul where I had to literally separate myself from all those roles that I played in life and were very comfortable for me, and try to figure out who am I on a deeper level, and how old were you when this happened? So I was actually the age of Jesus, believe it or not, and I remembered turning 33 and I was like, Oh, my god, is this all to my life? And I had a beautiful, beautiful life. By many standards. I struggled in my divorce, in my marriage, which resulted in the divorce, but I had two beautiful kids. I had a beautiful career that many people would die for. I became vice president at 28 years old, which is very young. And I didn’t have a linear career in banking either, which was great, but something inside of me asked for alignment. I knew that this is not it. There is more to me. And obviously taking the steps to realign is something that we all are scared of, because once you really go on that path, there is an element of destruction involved, and we all cling on to safety and security. And then was it the messy I think it’s the messy middle that you start finding yourself and putting yourself back together. I think of the pottery. What is it? The Japanese pottery with the gold, yeah, with the gold, when it’s broken, it’s that much more beautiful, and it’s pieced back together, and it’s still the pot. It’s just reimagined so well, I think that nature gives us so many beautiful examples of what spiritual evolution can look like. And I always look at the caterpillar, right? So, yeah, the metamorphosis happens, but the caterpillar has no clue which kind of butterfly will arrive on the other side, and we try to hold on to our eyeball and our leg, just hoping that, you know, we can control and it is a journey of. Surrender and trusting that there is this Universal Spirit that holds us all and the way we function as a collective is very disconnected from our true essence. Specifically, I believe that we are all

 

20:20

infected by narcissistic imprints, which Native American traditions call the virus of the soul. And if you look at Charles Darwin, he didn’t imply that humanity should use the survival of the fittest as the model of human interaction. That kind of like happened because it landed so perfectly on the egoic psyche of the Western world. But the fact that we practice competition, I mean, my 12 year old, it’s all about competition. He needs to be the first one in all of the classes. If, if you’re not the first one, you’re not a human being like in others, there’s so much reinforcement on competition versus collaboration. And I and I think this is where we fragment ourselves, because, you know, mind, body, spirit, is not a brand new topic. And the reason why I

 

Victoria Kar  21:32

dedicate my practice to my practice to holistic psychology, is because I believe that emphasizing just the mental structures, or just physical structures, or even just spiritual structures, does not produce integrated human being so well that mean, well, tell me. Tell me more what that means in terms of like, holistic psychology. Are you someone that someone can book, like a one on one session with and go see the psychologist. Or is there there a different layer, a bigger layer to it? So let me start from history. There was this gentleman of French gentleman. His name was Rene Descartes, and he is very famous because he kind of like officially appointed mind as the primary tool of existence. And he said, cogita ego, I think, therefore I am so. Dakar did something unprecedented for psychology and for medicine. He was able to segregate mind and body from the domain of the church. So before Descartes, Catholic Church pretty much had full control over medical advancements, because doctors were not allowed to operate on even cadavers, and it really sold our progress. So the card was able to separate mental structures of humanity and gave it to psychology. Body went to the medicine, and spirit was left to the church. However, unfortunately, we still operate in that same doctrine almost six centuries later. And what holistic psychology does? It brings those three components back together, and it’s a very self guiding way of supporting people, because no one knows how it feels to be you. So it’s not so much prescription based, it’s not so much talk therapy. It’s more helping human beings understand their human experience from the prism of different aspects of who they are. So we are all human beings, but we are all also spiritual beings, at least that’s what I believe in. And I believe that we had multiple lifetimes, and sometimes the energetic imprints of those past lifetimes show up in the present realm, and that’s what I call spiritual DNA and the physical DNA. And how do we actually become integrated aware beings that can function in this reality in a way that is aligned and harmonious with ourselves and others. So that’s what holistic psychology is. Well, I feel like I need to take like an MBA course from you. It’s incredible, or a Master’s course, probably, but. Me, tell me what? What steps can people take listening to today’s podcast where they can start exploring both their spirituality and also thinking, taking more of like a holistic psychologist approach into living life? That’s such an important question, and I think what we all have to do is start questioning what we perceive as true, because wisdom is universal. We have all have been on planet Earth, and we all share this human experience, but how we interpret it is so individual and so unique, so kind of like blanketing our experience as good or bad is what creates a lot of friction, because since childhood, we had to comply to rules and standards and norms and expectations, And those expectations may not be true for us internally, yet most people have completely disabled their authentic understanding what feels like hell yes for them and what feels like hell no for them. So when I work with people, we spend considerable amount of time trying to restore their authentic, energetic structures, because we are all tilted into good girls Bad Girls, trying to listen to external feedback more than internal understanding. Like everyone’s antennas are much more predisposed to their external noise than internal realignment. And I think that’s what the times are acquiring of us, especially as women, because there is so much conflict in the world, the conflict between masculine and feminine, men do not wake up specifically with the idea of suppressing feminine. It’s just been a collective system for over 2000 years. So just like with the card, you know, we’re still functioning in a very fragmented system that creates tremendous amount of damage, like medicine, doesn’t consider human experience in its totality. It’s very segmented, and it doesn’t work. We we are sicker than we’ve been in a long time. Same thing with psyche. The psyche is so fragmented, because without the Spirit and the embodiment, we can’t really function well. The world doesn’t need people that are more intellectual, like we have plenty of geniuses on planet Earth. That’s not what will get us out our collective mess. Integrated people is what we truly need. But that level of integration requires an evolution of inner awareness, and we as a society, we prioritize doing this over beingness and busyness over stillness. Amen. I think we are one of the busiest societies, and I know you come come from Russia, but even thinking about other societies, Latin American societies, European societies, like there is this baked in time for stillness, even summer or, I believe it’s in France. And maybe you know this more, I think they get in trouble if they respond to emails when they’re like required to take this time off. So the entire country takes an entire month of August off. But also, well, France is a very unique country because it lives based on the feminine values. It’s about Joie de vijo. It’s about beauty, it’s about couture. It’s about sex. And what was very interesting for me to experience in France is that in France, women are not falling into the responsibility of the role that the society projects on her. So she’s she’s a mother, and she’s a lover, and she’s an employee, but most of all, she’s a woman, and this is right, and the society reinforces that core identity. Versus in United States, you have to be it all for everyone involved. You have to be psychoanalyst for your children? You have to be moral, emotional, financial support for your partner. You have to be a stellar employee while delivering babies and coming back within two weeks like a superhero like this is Puritan value. System. This is how this country actually was created, and that’s how that country really succeeds. But there is a level of obsession around performance. Like we are all insomniacs. If you sleep and rest, there’s something wrong with you, like there is a competition in corporate who does more and rest less. So it’s this is what you can do for yourself. You can start questioning, is that true for you? Is it real for you, and giving yourself permission as a woman to actually define what feminine looks like for you individually, because historically, feminine was passive and pretty. And a lot of women of our generation, we kind of like defy, we defy that compliant way of being. But it’s a pendulum, yeah, so far away from it, and I believe that once we integrate our defiance, we will be in our alignment, and that’s where the true magic unfolds. That’s when you are no longer in survival, but in a flow. And that’s a huge part of my teachings and my work. And in fact, I have a program called clemyo quindum, which gives woman permission to find her energetic throne, first of all, and most of all, in her body, in her beingness, and from that creating aligned Life across all the spectrums of her human experience, motherhood, partnership, business. And I do believe that once we have enough aligned woman, the world is going to be changed. And I do agree with Dalai Lama, I think those women would be the western woman, because we have time, we have resources, we have the opportunities to actually do this work, but it’s tricky, because the mind keeps telling us that we don’t do enough. We are not enough. We have to be this. We have to be that. So being willing to create that spiritual revolution in our own head and get that. I call it slippery motherfucker. Yeah, off the throne and truly embody our divine essence. I have a very unique perspective on it, because even from Russia, I am deeply connected to the native tradition and lineages across the globe. So I was able to sit with Native American elders and Latin American elders and South African elders and sufist leaders. So the fabric of collective experience is very diverse in my own psyche, like I see such a mosaic of how humanity can be and chooses to be, and unfortunately or fortunately, we live in a very powerful country. You know, it wasn’t my birthright to be here. I earned it through hard work and a lot of trials and tribulations. So I don’t take it for granted, and I know that those of us that do the work and try to find spiritual answers to very ordinary questions, like, who am I? Hello, go back with that one.

 

Emily Merrell  33:53

What an easy it was an easy place to start. Oh gosh. Now everyone’s going to be spiraling. They’re like, who am I? What do I do it? It reminds me a lot of just a of a toddler, of just questioning and asking, like, what is this? Why this? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

 

34:13

So for those of us who are mothers, we get such an incredible example of how our egoic structures are formed, because all of it is in reflection to external stimuli. So we are literally self identifying through the external so when, when in our life, do we sit down and actually match ourselves internally? When do we question about the way we live and the values that we embody? And it’s it’s not an easy job, because once you really get to the bottom of what’s important for you, you understand that the reason why you don’t have the life you want is not because. Because there is some kind of like social barrier, which, of course, there is. There are certain conditions, but it’s because you are no, not willing to choose the divine within. And it’s also like another conspiracy theory, because if you look at Christianity or Islam or even Judaism, there is a huge separation between your human experience as an individual and God. So God is somewhere above and what we lost as a collective is the practice of prayer when we didn’t pray through the priest, but we prayed through ourselves. We were the prayer, and that’s something that temple tradition reinforced deeply. You didn’t need a translator. You would just go to the temple and you would experience that internal reverence, you would be reminded that feminine is divine, that masculine is divine, and we are trying to reclaim it at the moment, and there are a lot of astrological reasons for that. We are coming out of the years era of Pisces into the era of the Aquarius. Like many, I should write a book,

 

Emily Merrell  36:29

yeah, like, this is, this is, this is definitely, like a four hour podcast episode to dive into all of the different things, which is incredible. So you are, like, you were such an incredible wealth of knowledge and truly just listening and just getting the gears going in my brain is so inspiring. But how can people tap into getting to know you and working with you and having these deep conversations with you? So I work one on one primarily

 

37:02

so you can reach out to me at info at Victoria, carr.com, it’s V, I, C, T, O, R, I, a, k, a, r.com, social media wise, I’m not as engaged, just because for many of us, social media, is that performance and challenge of actually listening to internal so I’m trying to practice what I preach, but you can find me at rise to legendary. That’s my hashtag on Instagram. And the reason why it’s rise to legendary is because I believe we are the legendary generation, like those people that live on planet Earth right now will be are creating collectively either the legend of collective destruction or the legend of collective ascension. And I want to do anything I can to support those that have questions. I’m not sure what I’m talking about, but have a feeling that there is more to them, and most importantly, it needs to be fun. I’m a big, big, big supporter of fun, because part of that indoctrination and competition is that we have to hustle. What if we don’t

 

Emily Merrell  38:32

anti hustle culture? I love it. Well, Victoria, I have some questions for you, and these aren’t very deep questions, so these are fast questions.

 

Victoria Kar  38:42

Okay, let’s do it.

 

Emily Merrell  38:43

My first question for you is, tell us an unknown fun fact about Victoria.

 

38:52

Oh, my God, there are so many I speak three and a half languages. I don’t know if it’s that unknown. Yeah, French, English and African. Yeah,

 

Emily Merrell  39:04

you got it amazing. I think that’s so cool. I’m going to travel with you. Um, who would be a dream person to be connected with? Who’s dead or alive? Dalai Lama had a feeling you’d say that one. And then, What show are you watching currently?

 

39:22

I love Vikings of Valhalla. Have you watched it? No, I love that, though. Oh my gosh, they are. This is how humanity looks like when shame and guilt is not indoctrinated at the level of religion. They walk with the gods and they are so convinced in their victories and their righteousness, and also, like they practice opposite of what Christianity is teaching, right versus monodistic God. They pray to the thunder and they pray to Freya. So it’s just a very. Different way of living, which fascinates me. Different fascinates me.

 

Victoria Kar  40:04

I love it. I’ll have to check it out. I’ve been, yeah, I love, like, a good documentary or something, understanding a bit more. So that’s, that’s awesome.

 

Emily Merrell  40:13

Tell me, what’s yours

 

Victoria Kar  40:15

mine? Oh, what am I watching right now? Yeah,

 

Emily Merrell  40:18

I’m watching the Discovery of Witches. And have you read? Read the book? No,

 

Victoria Kar  40:24

oh, my God, I’m putting it on my list. It’s, it’s not,

 

Emily Merrell  40:28

I thought it’d be more like into witchcraft. It’s, it’s, it’s a very it’s a fan Fanta. What? What do they call it a ro Roman test. Romanticy. Romanticy book. So it’s like a witch and a vampire they meet, and they have to like, they fall in love, but it’s forbidden, and they travel back in time. So I’m learning, I feel like there’s aspects of Vikings in it, there’s aspects of Elizabethan culture in it, and it’s beast. It’s like historical, historical pieces mixed with, you know, this conflict that is fictional.

 

Victoria Kar  41:00

Wow, sounds amazing.

 

Emily Merrell  41:04

I finished the trilogy. I like threw, you know, was listening to it every single day, and then I saw it was a TV show too. So it’s been fun to see the book I’m reading come to life. So that’s my two part answer of book I’m reading and show I’m watching amazing. We need a good one with the when the twins are born, that’s a fun one to get through. What book are you reading? But it could be fun or business.

 

Victoria Kar  41:30

So there is this beautiful book called The Sophia code, and the woman that wrote it, her name is Kaya Ra. So she was actually trafficked for many, many years and sexually abused on daily basis. And in order to survive the level of trauma, she literally left her body and was dealing with a lot of mental health issues, and just like not knowing why she should live, and then she became a very potent, powerful channel. And the book is written from the perspective of as a transmission, and she goes into Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene and ISIS and hawthor And yeah, it’s quite it’s quite something, because she connects the Divine Feminine frequencies across different cultures and different generations, which is a big part of what I try to establish. So there is a chapter on white buffalo woman. There is a chapter on Quang Ying. It’s a it’s a spiritual initiation book for those who Yeah, want to establish that level of connectivity with the Divine Mother. And for different cultures, that hallway, that path, looks different, because if you are understanding Egyptian culture, you will know who ISIS and Hathor is. But if you don’t, it would be just a strange name. And there are a lot of people that actually remembering those names now, because on the spiritual DNA, something like resonates with them, and they’re not sure exactly what it is. So I find this book to be quite incredible, just because of what the author went through, yeah, and how she embodies it. That’s phenomenal. I

 

Emily Merrell  43:43

just put it in my library book. Thank you. I love this. This is my favorite, super selfish y’all, but this is how I get my book. Rex is through this podcast. Um, my final two questions for you, what is your favorite emoji

 

Victoria Kar  43:58

Arts? I’m I’m a hard person like and it’s so funny because my partner doesn’t like me sharing too many hearts, so I actually had to, like, allocate a special type of heart, so it’s only his, but it was a fun conversation to have, because I didn’t realize how many hearts I’m using, but now he has his own dedicated symbol

 

Emily Merrell  44:24

of, like, tone it down on the hearts.

 

Victoria Kar  44:27

Actually, I spiced it up on his heart, you know, I have, like, a heart with a fire, you know, ooh, spicy heart. Yeah. So that’s, that’s his, and he deserves all of it. Absolutely. I

 

Emily Merrell  44:39

love that. Okay, my final question for you today is, what permission Do you want to give our listeners today?

 

Victoria Kar  44:47

Permission to dare I feel that we get so stuck in righteousness and wrongeousness of of who we are, that we’re in this. Analysis paralysis, and if your heart says, Go, just dare light it on fire with hearts and drones, yeah. Like this is so funny, because I truly believe that sister, like the lineage of sisterhood that we lost as woman because of the level of competition around true sisters, someone who will fix the crown on another woman.

 

Emily Merrell  45:28

Oh, my gosh. I love that. And I think that is such a beautiful, beautiful image to put into the into the world. Well, Victoria, you are an incredible light. You are an incredible force of nature to be dealt with and to deal with and to meet and to encounter and to learn from and to grow from. So thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and your wisdom like the tip, tip of the iceberg of your wisdom with us today.

 

Victoria Kar  45:55

Oh, thank you for having me, and I look at you as someone who absolutely gives women permission to remember that we are the queens, because no one else is going to crown us. We have to do it internally.

 

Emily Merrell  46:11

And on that note, I have to tell you a quick, quick side story. One of my guy friends bought me one of those really ridiculous, like fake paintings where you superimpose your face onto it and it’s a queen, and so it sits, it sits in our bathroom, so I’m always on my throne. But

 

Victoria Kar  46:32

that’s that’s the paradigm shift. That’s exactly what we all have to do, dare to desire, dare to dream, dare to be, dare to support each other, dare to choose each other. So Emily, thank you for having me, and it’s been such a beautiful experience to know you and cheer for you.

 

Emily Merrell  46:57

Likewise, likewise. And listeners, if you liked today’s episode, go check out Victoria, slip into her inbox her email her DMs and schedule some time with her, because she is as you got a glimpse of today, just a wealth of information and knowledge. And if you like today’s episode, share it with a friend and we will see you the next time on the second degree. Have a great day, everyone. Bye.

 

47:21

You.