Emily Merrell  00:00

Hey, my name is Emily Merrell. I’m a taco loving people connector. And I’m obsessed with playing the name game, and all things networking. I’m the founder of secondary society, a female focused networking community, as well as a business coach for female business owners passionate about bringing their business to the next level with the help of events, community and connections. I crave deep conversations, and I’m continuously curious to see what makes people tick. And I’m invested in uncovering their stories with some life lessons along the way. This podcast is aimed to inspire and educate as you tackle your busy day to join the conversation and tune in for the second degree podcast. I’m your host, Emily Merrell. And today I’m so excited to have my favorite duo of ladies here. I have the fertility resort co founders Bryant Ligget. And Erin Attaway as our guests, ladies, welcome to the show.

 

Bryant Liggett  01:00

Oh, no.

 

Emily Merrell  01:05

It’s Don’t worry. I’ll make it clear. I’ll call your names too. So we don’t all just talk at once. But I’m so excited. This has definitely been. I feel like a long time coming. I would agree. I

 

Bryant Liggett  01:17

think I mean, I’ve known you for over a year now. Which seems so crazy to think about, like a year and a half probably. Yeah. So yeah, I’m super stoked to be here. And yes, it is a long time coming a long time coming.

 

Emily Merrell  01:29

So listeners for context. Bryant, I had the pleasure of meeting. Yes, it was last year 2020. It was last year 2022. But yeah, last 2022. Brian was in a coaching group that I hosted for a community called self made. And she pitched there’s this pitching competition, and she pitched her idea of the fertility resort. And she left every single human in tears. And she walked away with $5,000 from from the organization. And so let’s start with you, Brian, let’s start with what is the fertility resort? And how did it get started. And then I’ll throw it over to Erin to talk about her meet cute and how she joined the fertility resort.

 

Bryant Liggett  02:16

Sure, um, I feel like there’s a lot to this story. I am a recurrent pregnancy loss and long term IVF patient and through the last five years of my own infertility journey, I really became aware of ways that we can improve the way that IVF works and our healthcare system. And so, you know, about two and a half years into that process. I was referred actually to Aaron to be my doctor of acupuncture and Chinese medicine because she specializes in fertility patients. And it was about the same time that I met Aaron that like the idea sort of ruminating for the fertility resort. And as soon as I met Aaron, it was just kind of a love at first sight in a very platonic way kind of thing. I just felt so seen and so safe. And I for the first time felt like somebody really held space for me in my journey instead of, you know, railroading me with new protocols and new meds, and we can try this kind of like dangling that cherry out in front of me and a new things we can do in order to improve my outcomes. And Aaron was just very much a safe space. You know, and I remember looking at her like, you know, maybe our first or second acupuncture session, and I looked at her and I was like, did you know that you’re a coach? And she was like, what’s the coach. But that’s how I felt about her. Like I She held my hand and helped me decipher what my doctors were doing and what they were saying and what evidence based research was and kind of broke it down for me in terms to where I could really understand what my body was going through what the meds were supposed to do for me, what my side effects were, you know, how I can improve my whole body experience, you know, not just with supplements and lifestyle diet changes, but also with mental health and learning how to breathe my way through, you know, trauma after trauma after trauma. And so, kind of at the end of the day, I was like, wow, I wish everybody had an Erin who was going through IVF. And so that’s about the time that the self made. opportunity came around and I don’t join that cohort just to see if like my idea had any legs. And yeah, I was really lucky that I had a really awesome coach named Emily Merrell, who helped me like kind of put the foundation together of what a business plan with look like for an online community. And yeah, so then after I won the self made pitch contest, I was like, Aaron, I kind of signed you up for something thing that you don’t know about. But you’re gonna be my co founder in this business. And yeah, so the fertility resort is an online community that is rooted in evidence based research, traditional wisdom and mental health really, that’s kind of the triangle of what we offer. And yeah, it’s peer to peer support. It’s a group that off it’s it’s a peer to peer community that offers affiliate providers. So think about your whole body experience, you’re not just dealing with sperm and eggs, you’re also dealing with mental health counselors, you’re dealing with pelvic floor therapists, you know, people who are perinatal yoga specialists, you’re dealing with, you know, a whole body experience to kind of round out your entire fertility journey. So yeah, that is essentially the building blocks of the fertility resort. And Aaron can touch on this much, much more, because that was the point where she came into the picture. So yeah, so err, first off, let

 

Emily Merrell  05:57

me just recognize, I think it’s incredible to see it go from a pitch competition to a reality. And I think I go into the fertility resort daily to showcase people who want to build a community what a really, really strong community looks like, I think you guys did a phenomenal, phenomenal job of thinking through every question, every scenario, every bringing heart and lightness into it too. And a sense of humor, I think you’ve done a really, really incredible job of tackling that. And creating a space where people can be as visible or invisible as they want to be while participating in this community that they never want it to be a part of. That’s great. Right? Yeah. So Aaron, how about you? So you are, you know, just living your life. And then one day, this gorgeous blonde walks into your office named Bryant? So what did you you’re like, Okay, my next patient is Brian, and we’re going to do this thing. Did you know it was love at first sight? Like Brian,

 

Erin Attaway  07:06

kind of kind of I, I meet a lot of Bryant’s. So I think that’s the only difference here is that I’ve been practicing doing this since 2011. Right, as a specialist. So I’ve met a lot of Bryant’s and I think that is, I think it’s, it’s like the universe, perfect storm, you know, I have had that same conversation so many times, that I really was getting to that place, like, you know, I love working one on one. But it’s so it’s just such a dead end, in a sense, because you kept trying to reproduce that conversation. And that kind of help. It’s like, it’s just so hard. It’s so hard to try to help every person learn all the different things that they could learn, and they should learn and, but you’re doing it in real time. And you’re doing it based on what has just happened to them and what their experience is. And even though I might know that they need to do X, but it’s just not time for that, because she’s already overwhelmed. And so I think I had come to my own sort of personal impasse about it’s hard, it’s hard to just constantly deal with all the Bryants, and see all the gaps and all the holes and feel like so incapable of helping them fill it up. So I think that her timing was pretty impeccable in that way, because she found me in a place where I was like, I just feel like there’s so much more to do, and I don’t know how to do it. And we had really amazing conversations. And I think one of the things that I really appreciated about Bryant was, she didn’t let her despair be the end, her despair, became curiosity. And I was fascinated at that. That instead of just sort of stopping and floundering in the fact that nothing was going right, she’d come in and say I was reading this article, what do you think about this? And Lola? And do you think this can be a part of it? And she was just really curious. And I thought that was kind of empowering, in a sense, because that’s a real special person to take that kind of adversity and not let it just derail their whole life. And so those are conversations were so fantastic. We had and I was like, super cool to talk to somebody that was really interested about, like, the other side of it beyond the eggs and sperm and like, what does Chinese medicine say about who we are, where we’ve come from, and how do we go forward and, you know, the mystical elements of it that I don’t really get to talk a lot about because often with IVF, you’re talking about numbers, you know, you’re talking about medications, schedules and numbers. So she kind of brought all these like, all these things to me in a person that like Really rejuvenated some of my Chinese medicine, the places that again, like I just don’t get to play in those spaces very much because there’s not always a great opportunity for it. So yeah, I think that she really reeled me in like a little fish on. She was eager to hear what I had to say. And then she actually listened. And then we’ll come in and say, I listened to a podcast about the thing we talked about. And I was like, Oh, my God, you’re the best patient. Like, Bryant is an amazing patient in that way. She anything I suggested, she would do it. And I was like, wow, this is the logical doing, or she’s like, you know, she’s a great patient, maybe it’s a little bit of both, who knows. But yeah, so I, I just, it felt it was the universe, you know, like this has happened so many times in my life, we’re all roads lead to the same place. And when she showed me the pitch deck, I cried, I cried my eyes out. And because it really did harness, like, all of those feelings of the inadequacies of just like the whole system, the whole complex. And so I showed it to my husband, and he said, This is real, whatever this is, you should do this, because this is what you always complain about. So I felt like for the two of us to be really physically moved, I felt like a really telling sign, it was very telling.

 

Emily Merrell  11:30

I like hearing both sides of your perspectives on on going in and meeting with one another. And yeah, timing is everything for launching and building a company. So Brian, you have a background in marketing? How is it been marketing your own product and your own business and building something that again, was this idea was this pitch deck, but then bringing it to reality? What’s that journey felt like so far?

 

Bryant Liggett  11:59

To be totally honest, really hard. I, like have conversations with Aaron all the time that I’m like, I am really good at marketing and for other people and taking their like their product or their service, and then creating very unique ways out of the box experiences for content creation. But I’m really, I It’s hard when it’s your own product, I feel like you get so close to it, that nothing can be perfect enough. And I’m struggling trying to let that go, if that makes sense. So it’s, it’s been an interesting experience. And also, I am not good at a lot of things. And I’m trying to learn how to delegate the things that I’m not perfect at to other people, and also hard.

 

Erin Attaway  12:52

Yeah, let’s just say that one of the first jobs we will hire somebody to take over definitely social media, and how Bryant with marketing to give her some ability to sit back. And I’m pretty good at delegation. And so sometimes, like, girl, you don’t have to do this. Somebody else knows how to do this for us. But, you know, we’re just so new that we’re not there yet. Well, and I think for me, too, I

 

Bryant Liggett  13:15

get really hold held up in the I like I like to be the thinker, the visionary, I like to come up with the concepts, but then I get so tied up in all the steps that you have to do in order to create the vision that I get, I lose the vision. Does that make sense? Yep. It’s it’s been a struggle for me honestly, as a professional marketing person to really wrap my head around. Maybe I should not be the person on business. It’s really interesting. Oh, for sure. Well,

 

Emily Merrell  13:49

and I think also Bryant, it kind of goes back to your background too. You were a dancer, you you have a perfectionist tendency, when a lot of times with entrepreneurships. It’s building the plane as you’re flying it, and a lot of messy action and pivoting and then more messy action, and then you pivot a little bit more. And you probably were doing that when working as a marketer for others. But when it’s your own, or like, it can’t be half dead. When I throw it out there. It has to be perfect.

 

Bryant Liggett  14:20

1,000% unequaled in the dancer thing, because I mean, yeah, being a ballet dancer for 18 years of my life really plays into that perfectionism thing. So very astute observation, Emily.

 

Emily Merrell  14:30

No, I I’ve noticed this with a lot of dancers. It’s definitely dancers and Catholics. There’s a lot of like, shame and guilt around. Sorry, Catholics listening, but there’s a lot of self flagellation of like, I’m not good enough, or I didn’t.

 

Bryant Liggett  14:45

I don’t know. I could have done better. 1,000% I’m not Catholic.

 

Emily Merrell  14:51

You’ve seen it. You’ve seen it happen. So how is it been going through building this platform in this resort for As you’re also going through your own fertility journeys,

 

Bryant Liggett  15:04

hmm, really interesting question. Um, you know, there’s a part of infertility in the media that like, there’s this call to be truly authentic and share your story and not and be and just be really authentic about where you’re coming from. And because I think that there is a lot of taboo Enos, that we really want to overcome that something, we don’t think that you should be ashamed to talk about it. I mean, as you know, like, we’re doing a shame writing workshop with you guys because of it. Because I, I think that it’s really important for people to be authentic about their journey and their story. And I think my story is, unfortunately, just a really sad one. And I don’t want to deter new people that are going into IVF, or assisted reproductive technology, thinking that that’s the end for everyone, because it’s not, like so many different people have amazing success with IVF. Science is fantastic. I mean, it’s amazing what we can do, and the life that we can create. But so I feel like I struggle with it a little bit with being too raw and too real, and also not wanting to deter people from entering into this realm that for the majority of people is going to bring them a happy ending. So then it’s been interesting for sure. Yeah. No, no, not

 

Emily Merrell  16:33

that makes a lot of sense to navigate. And so on the other end, Aaron, you’ve seen you had mentioned hundreds of Bryant’s before, you’ve had a lot of these conversations with Bryant’s, I always have been navigating community. Now, if you had had the silo, all of these appointments had been individual previously, and now you have a space where you can say, right, number one, two, right, number two, like y’all should talk, because you’re going through very similar things.

 

Erin Attaway  17:00

How is that? Um, it’s interesting, because I feel like we’re already before we’ve even launched and maybe this is normal for product development, I’ve never developed a product other than my personal space. I feel like we’re already kind of onto our third revision of, of the what and the how we work in the fertility resort. And that’s really the hardest part. It’s, I’m not going to call it imposter syndrome. It doesn’t feel like that. It’s more like, how do I, if my job in this product is to help people understand and learn and make choices? I think a lot of what we’ve really identified as a people really need help making choices, there’s definitely a paralyzed by options when it comes to fertility treatments. You know, obviously, depending on your doctor, your clinic, what is going on with you, some people don’t have much choice, but many people have a lot of choice. And it becomes like that’s their struggle bus. It’s like a treadmill of trying to decide, should we and it’s a damned if you do damned if you don’t. So my role in trying to help people navigate the journey, I think it’s the hardest part because in the one on one I am in real time, like I said, like, this just happened. And now we’re going to talk about it. And we’re going to figure out what happens next. And then they come back and said, This is what we’re doing. And this is and so it’s a natural progression. But in the fertility resort, I have to work with all the Bryant’s who I’ll never meet who I’ll never have a conversation with. So that really is my I don’t want to say it’s a struggle. I think it’s my challenge. And it’s unlocking some new ways for me to learn to work, where I Yeah, creating that journey mapping, creating that guidepost that helps anyone anywhere in their process move forward. So it’s daunting, it’s a lot. But I think I’m also trying to Chinese medicine it like, you know, two options, just keep it really, really simple. And eventually everybody will fall into one or the other bucket. So even though it looks like there’s 10 buckets, I think we can probably keep it to like two to three pathways. Because ultimately, they’re always the same choices. No, does that make sense? So it’s I don’t know, it’s, it’s fun. It’s interesting. It’s forcing me to use my left brain in a different way. So I’m trying to really like that and not let it roll me over with being overwhelmed or feeling like I can’t do this. I think I just have to give myself a little time to marinate on it. But time is also the essence. So it’s definitely that push pull.

 

Emily Merrell  20:00

Well definitely an opportunity for people in tears down the line to for you to have like a one on one with people and people can get out you might have this already in the fertility resort but get a taste of Aaron face to face. Even if they’re not in Pensacola, Florida. They can. Yeah, they they’re lucky that they have access to Aaron in the way that she probably wouldn’t, you wouldn’t have put together right ahead and hadn’t entered your life. So I think I think there’s always starting this sucks. Sorry, it sucks, really sucks, because it’s a hustle, and it’s a grind. But also, we never really remembered the hard parts will always remember the moment that you’re at. So in a year or two, when things are even that much easier, that much more processed. You’re not You’re gonna be like, Did I tell you that but this was hard, we have a whole new problem that we’re focused on. So you guys are doing awesome. Switching gears a little bit, I want to talk about infertility and I want to talk about fertility and navigating both as an individual who, right you’ve had hurricane after hurricane on you and your body mentally and your spirit. And so much it’s this invisible suffering. And again, that’s why I think it’s so poignant and powerful what you’ve created. But as a society, we fucking suck. Like we don’t know how to how to help our peers navigate it. I remember you guys talking about some greeting cards down the line? Is that still still something you’re toying with greeting? Yes,

 

Bryant Liggett  21:43

they are actually, we have our first round are available for purchase on our website. Now.

 

Emily Merrell  21:48

Can you give me some examples of what they what they say?

 

Bryant Liggett  21:52

Um, we’re trying to channel as much of the dark humor bringing levity to this as we possibly can. Right. So like, what do you say to your friend whose husband has a low sperm? Yeah, so no sperm. What do you say? Like how do you approach that subject with them? Because it’s just a whole new level. They cannot have biological children. That’s how that works. So what would you say to that, Aaron?

 

Erin Attaway  22:26

So the greeting card is actually blank. And then when you open it up, it says, I heard you’re shooting blanks. Oh.

 

Emily Merrell  22:37

That’s amazing.

 

Bryant Liggett  22:42

It’s like the Spencer’s of fertility cards. Like if you remember Spencer’s, and they always had, like, the naughty things. We were like, how do you bring that into this space? Because there’s nothing else to say about it. There’s only so much our thoughts and prayers are with you. Right? Like we’re so over that.

 

Emily Merrell  23:00

Whoa, sorry.

 

Erin Attaway  23:02

I’m sorry for your loss. Like, okay, gross. Please don’t say that to me anymore. So yeah, we just decided to go in a totally different direction and say the things that like Amy Schumer would say, like so you know, what else? What else can we do except try to lighten the mood a little bit.

 

Emily Merrell  23:21

So funny had this conversation with another self made student about mental health at one point, it was similar where like, we should make great greeting cards, like Sorry, you’re off your rocker, like I’ve, you know, it wasn’t me as my other personality. They play with it versus tiptoe around it, and so much of our lives is guys, I kid you not. I’m digressing a little bit, but I wrote a condolence note the other day, and I was like, Shit, I don’t know what to write in a condolence note. So I popped it into chat GPT and I had it write it for me, because I was like, I’m unsure. Everything feels so generic. And the same same thing and will my words matter? And you know, the spirals that we can put in so, Brian, as someone that has gone through it, what has it What advice would you have for someone who wants to support a friend or their wife or their sister in going through a fertility loss?

 

Bryant Liggett  24:27

Okay, well, I will say the worst things you can, you can say is at least start any sentence with at least So never say at least, you know, you can get pregnant or at least it’s not this or like, I think that that’s really a big turn off for the infertility community. There is no at least it is just what it is like. There is it’s hard to find that silver lining when you’re in the depths of infertility, so anything like that I, my one of my biggest pet peeves is people who say, why don’t you just adopt? And I’m telling firsthand experience because we are an active family, hoping to adopt one day that the adoption journey is not any easier. It is just as hard. It is just as expensive. And it’s, I mean, it’s hard. So there is no Why don’t you just adopt? Also the you can have my kids, and then you’ll never want to have kids or like I don’t know, it’s all in God’s plan, or just relax, or it’ll happen? Well, I went on vacation and had too many margaritas. And that’s how I got pregnant. Like, I appreciate it. But I think it’s just because they don’t know what to say, right? I mean, most of the time, they just don’t know what to say. So I think the best way you can be supportive to someone is just to hold space for them. Kind of like what Aaron did for me. She was just like, This really sucks. And I’m really sorry for and I’m here for you. Please let me know if I can do anything like, that’s all we really need is just an acknowledgement is hard. And piece of advice you probably want to give. We’ve already done Googled it, been there done that talk to our doctors back around again. And it just is what it is. So I would say just let them know.

 

Emily Merrell  26:28

I think those are those are all sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off. I think those are all great, your little glitchy, all great, great, great pieces of advice. And I’d actually be really curious. We were chatting on Instagram the other day about any programs. And I’m curious how many of those people that are giving helpful advice or helpers in Enneagram?

 

Bryant Liggett  26:50

Interesting,

 

Emily Merrell  26:51

I don’t know. Just just a full circle. Because I think there’s this aspect, I noticed my mom doing it to me and I do it to my husband. I’ll be like, Oh no, the dogs bleeding. And I’ll be like, well, I Googled it, this is what you need to do. And he’s like, You don’t think I have Google? Do you know? Like, I’m helping, like, You’re gonna make me punch you in the face like it’s? So Bryant, what would you? What would be something? If you were to? Everyone knows this advice? What would be something you’d want to receive besides holding space? Would good cards piss you off? Or would they make you chuckle or

 

Bryant Liggett  27:36

they would I think anything that can bring levity to the situation, even in a hard time is great. I you know, I don’t know. Like I think that anything that hung can help me reconnect to the person that I was before, before a miscarriage before infertility before I went down this journey. So like, what are the things I like to do? What are the things I like to do before then? I love a good TV show. I love a good book. Like I love to go, like hike the trails that you know, my alma mater. Like I like those things. So anything that like, so if I had a friend that was like, Would you like to do something? I’d be like, Yeah, let’s go hike the trails at UW F. And then let’s go drink margaritas. And that sounds like a good day to me. Something to do something to like, bring me out of that place mentally, right? So even if it’s so something to do, I think is what we really like. Yeah, love that. Not

 

Emily Merrell  28:37

a bottle of tequila, some limes that say this sucks. Yes, I will take that. And then what about you, Aaron, you know, when you got it? What got you inspired to get into acupuncture? And then you mentioned you, you change ship or you switch gears a little bit with this focus. What brought you to infertility in particular?

 

Erin Attaway  29:03

Well, the Chinese medicine came really early. I was planning to go to medical school. And I had a really strong dawning that I didn’t want to do that. And it was actually I was trying, I was not well, I was not feeling healthy. And I was in my early 20s. And I had some weird health stuff. So I was trying to figure that out. That’s actually how I discovered Chinese medicine. And it was just magic. It was instant. I had one acupuncture treatment, and I took some herbs and by the time I went back for the next one, I felt like a new human and that was so fascinating to me, like what just happened after all these months of what I’ve been doing and trying what just happened. So that was it. I signed up, applied and went straight, you know, from college to acupuncture school instead of medical school. fertility. I don’t really know it just simply I just feel like it picked me. There wasn’t wasn’t because I suffered from infertility. I actually was the opposite I always kind of worry about. I’ve not had that issue. My first pregnancy was a surprise, and it was twins. I think what happened in that moment, though, which is funny, because I was studying for my exam to become a fertility specialist, when I found out I was having twins. And I think what it did was sort of solidify. This is so exciting. And I feel so sorry for people that don’t get here. And I just it just wanted to be a helper in that way.

 

Emily Merrell  30:34

So she’s probably a two is what you’re what I’m hearing here.

 

Bryant Liggett  30:38

Oh, no, I’m

 

Emily Merrell  30:38

no to know what oh, what’s your Enneagram?

 

Erin Attaway  30:42

Ah, you know, I always thought it was a seven. And when I tested when I was younger, I was a seven. And now yeah, I’m an eight. So I don’t know, it’s funny, I feel like a seven was also just youthfulness. And I think an eight, like as a parent, and as a business owner, I felt like I was a seven because I wasn’t great at completing things. I loved the beginning. But it was always hard to like finish and the close. I always struggle a little bit with that. But my ate, I think has really gotten stronger as I’ve gotten older and much more decisive. And it’s funny now because that’s like, Brian, we were having this conversation. And I was like, stop. You don’t even need to do this. Just let somebody else do it. She just looked at me like, maybe you needed to tell me that, like I Yeah. Let me help you in that way, stop. Give it up.

 

Emily Merrell  31:34

So it sounds like you both have the strengths that balance each other out in these superpowers that really form nicely into a partnership. Speaking of partnership, I had the pleasure of reading the most beautiful writing from both of you. It sounded like it was a an exercise you challenged each other to do to write about shame, and a write about your shame. And we alluded to this earlier. And you wrote about the fertility journey from either side as friends. And can you speak a little bit more about like, what inspired that exercise? And how did you feel after it was completed? Right, wait, kick us off.

 

Bryant Liggett  32:19

Um, well, it actually was originally inspired by one of our fertility resort. Support Group nights. It was a really great evening, and just some how between Erin and I, and talking and talking to members that like, it just happened, and I think I’m pretty sure it started with, sometimes I feel like I’m addicted to my infertility journey. Like that is what it feels like to me. And obviously, I’m not an addict in any other way in my life that I know of. But I have a lot of people in my life that I love very dearly, that are addicts, and I found myself doing some of the same behaviors that they do. And I was like, really overwhelmed by that. And the more I thought about it, sorry, I might even cry right now thinking about it. The more I thought about it, the more I was like, oh my god, like, I don’t know. So anyway, um, yes, I wrote a piece for the infertility addict. I don’t know if that’ll be the final name for it or not. But yeah, that was the inspiration behind that. And then Aaron, read it, and then I am beats. Yeah, and Aaron, you’re gonna talk a little bit about your piece.

 

Erin Attaway  33:40

So in that group night, we were just we were talking about that treadmill, the, the constant pneus of options. And I said, I feel like it can be a little unfair, that it feels like science always comes back with a new thing, that sometimes a woman or a couple on this journey, like they get to a point where it feels like, Okay, I think I think we need to take a break, I think we need to stop here. And then inevitably, a new doctor or a new treat or something, a new opportunity comes up. And it’s so seductive, because of course, you’re still wanting so badly to have this family like it makes perfect sense. But I was saying it’s like watching your friend and an abusive relationship, like you know, that it’s not great. And it’s not healthy. And we’ve done it many times and it’s never really gone very well. And I the feeling of like the witness to watch your friend is like, oh my gosh, you can’t keep doing this. But you can’t tell somebody that they can’t keep doing it. And so for me, that was what my article was about. It’s like the abusive relationship is that desperation to keep moving Word, when it feels like everybody’s like, Stop, you know, this is enough, you’re not thriving in this environment anymore, but they can’t really get out of it. So it’s, it’s like, via IVF. And that potential kind of is the abuser, but the abuser has like the potential, like potential and possibility. It’s just too much. And so we were kind of simultaneously having that conversation and somebody in the group was like, Oh, my gosh, I’ve never heard it said like that. But that’s exactly what it feels like. So we decided that we just had to. We just had to do that together. And so we did, I think we were done with our pieces very promptly. And I wanted to write it like if I was a mother, or a friend or a husband, who’s watching somebody, like, I know how many people have seen someone in their life kind of disappear from infertility. So I wanted it to come across in that way.

 

Emily Merrell  36:04

I see this being a country song, with like, a two part where you’re singing to it. Like I thought you were this, I thought you were that? You know, I can I can see it for you or my husband who’s recording music now. But I do honestly, I think it’d be really entertaining, but also very emotional into it, but to do it as the song back and forth with one another. Not that you need more food. Well,

 

Bryant Liggett  36:32

we actually thought about turning it into poetry, like we thought about. Wow. So that makes total sense that you think that

 

Emily Merrell  36:40

the cadence of it? Well, ladies, I clearly could ask you questions for nine hours. And so to keep in the interest of of concise podcast, I want to ask how can people find out about you all in the fertility resort, send it to a friend, get involved with it, join it? What’s the best way

 

Bryant Liggett  37:01

we can follow us on social media platforms on all of our social media, we are at a fertility resort, and then our website is www dot fertility resort.com. And that is the easiest way to find us and

 

Emily Merrell  37:15

explore membership and what that looks like to be reserved over

 

Bryant Liggett  37:21

the resort over Yep. Well,

 

Emily Merrell  37:23

let’s put the depression aside. And we were gonna go into some fast, fun questions. No, I’m just kidding. There’s, I really appreciate that. I really, really, really appreciate the depth that you both go in, in terms of talking about a topic that I know is very sensitive, and also a challenging one for so many different angles. So I appreciate you both for being here. So let’s go into some fun questions. First one, right. Why don’t you kick it up? Kick it off for us. Tell us an unknown fun fact about you.

 

Bryant Liggett  37:57

I’m an unknown fun fact about me. Um, I embarrassingly really like Diet Coke. Like, and I don’t really, because it’s like, not good for my fertility journey, obviously. But when I it’s really hot outside sometimes I just want like a ice like a glass bottle Diet Coke. That’s an old fashion. I love it.

 

Emily Merrell  38:22

What about you, Erin? What’s your fun fact?

 

Erin Attaway  38:25

I am deeply fascinated by the entire Kardashian female family.

 

Emily Merrell  38:34

With you there and then also they can walk around with like a $300,000 bag and not blink an eye. She was. Yeah, yeah.

 

Erin Attaway  38:42

I can’t say I don’t really pro or con. I’m just fascinated.

 

Emily Merrell  38:49

That’s a great word. Great, great word. So many things, their bodies the shape of them. We can do a whole episode on the Kardashians. Speaking of fun people who would be a dream person to be connected with

 

Erin Attaway  39:04

I bet we have the same answer. On a brown for sure. Brene Brown. Ooh, that’s a good one. Let’s get her as

 

Bryant Liggett  39:13

our speaking of shame. Our dream is to work with her on infertility and shame. It just is so Brene if you’re listening to this, reach out, please.

 

Erin Attaway  39:23

 Right now this is a topic you haven’t yet touched on as far as we know. And it’s desperately needed. 

 

Emily Merrell  39:30

Have you pitched her yet?

 

Bryant Liggett  39:31

Nope.

 

Emily Merrell  39:32

Nope. There’s your homework for this episode. Go DM Brene Brown. What show are you currently watching or recently watched and can’t stop thinking about?

 

Bryant Liggett  39:45

I’m currently watching hijack with teacher Silva and I just think that he’s one of the most beautiful men on the planet. It’s on Apple TV. It’s really great thriller. Anyway. I’m digging it. Good.

 

Emily Merrell  39:58

Oh, good to know I needed a new thriller so Thank you. Aaron, what about you?

 

Erin Attaway  40:02

 Oh, I had to get an HBO Max subscription so I could revisit and just like that the Sex and the City reboot. I love it. I’m in their 50s I’m getting on up there to start paying attention to what we do next.

 

Emily Merrell  40:19

As fun watching that when you’re younger, just sex sexist city and you’re like, Who are these slightly older women and then you’re in your 20s And you’re like, I am this lady, older woman now. And then navigating, like, Oh, I thought this was weird. I thought Miranda sakto. She was the best, you know, and then you see this season. Everything’s changed. What book are you reading to recommend reading and or have you read recently, Bryant? I just our book club just read this month. The wives, but I think the American title for it is like something about Lulu lemons when life gives you Lulu lemons

 

Bryant Liggett  41:03

is actually good.

 

Kelsey Smith  41:04

Everybody should read it.

 

Emily Merrell  41:05

I think it was good. Okay, the the little lemons. I like that. What about you? Aaron?

 

Bryant Liggett  41:12

Just finished all the wives but

 

Emily Merrell  41:15

sorry. Oh, the wife. Okay, perfect. Sorry, you’re glitching a little.

 

Erin Attaway  41:19

Um, I just finished the four wins by Kristin Hannah. And I love Kristin Hannah. And I think it was one of her best, I definitely put it in the top two. It’s about the Great Depression and the dustbowl, and all of the Americans from the Great Plains that essentially replaced migrant workers in Mexico, and how they had to move from all of their homes along the Mississippi Basin when the dust storms came. And they relocated to California where there was the promise of work. And they were treated exactly like you see the same conversation we’re having about migrants right now like, and this was 100 years ago, literally 100 years ago. And it is incredibly poignant. And I’ve never heard dust described in these ways that it was like, it was painful. And it makes me feel like I just should never complain. I have nothing to complain about in my life.

 

Emily Merrell  42:24

We all have something to complain about. And our pain is all relative. That is less valid than someone else’s pain. But yes, her stories Jesus H Christ, like I swear every time I read them, like, what is World War Two? Well, that night and Gail broke me I was Oh yeah. for like three days has been like you chose to read that book. You know, you You’re crying because you did this to yourself.

 

Erin Attaway  42:51

I did. That was the first book of hers that I read and it rocked my world. It was really fantastic. That’s how this one is. This one is like, I mean, you’re just so present to it that it’s like God, can you please end? It just, it just hurts so bad.

 

Emily Merrell  43:06

I know. We’re such masochist. Okay, quickly. Last two questions for y’all. What is your favorite mode? Emoji Bryant? When it goes like this? Oh, yes, yes.

 

Bryant Liggett  43:19

grimace. That’s a great one. Yeah, that one.

 

Emily Merrell  43:23

That’s great, Erin.

 

Erin Attaway  43:25

I think I’m a winky face girl. I love a winky face.

 

Emily Merrell  43:29

I guess you’re at a bar, just Winky facing at us. That’s great. And then my final question for you both. Who gave you permission to do the thing you wanted to do? I guess us. Yeah. I mean, I

 

Bryant Liggett  43:48

guess at some point in time, I had to come to terms with like, nobody’s gonna make your future except for you. So do it or not, don’t do it. It’d be your fault either way.

 

Erin Attaway  44:00

That was the jump off conversation we had about the fertility resort. We looked each other in the eye and said, if we don’t do this, we have no one to blame, but ourselves. And we can continue to have the conversation for five years or we can just jump and we chose jump.

 

Emily Merrell  44:20

I’m so impressed and proud to know both of you. And I’m blown away by what you’ve created. Thank you for creating such a gorgeous space for the world to be in. And that concludes today’s episode of the sixth degree with Emily Merrell. Thank you, Bryant. Thank you, Erin, for being our guests today. Thank you for having us. So much fun. And listeners if you liked today’s episode, go do yourself a favor, follow these gorgeous ladies. Give them five stars. Share with friends, and we’ll see you the next time. Take care