Emily Merrell 

Welcome to the sixth degree podcast, the podcast where we grill our guests about the things that make them tick and find out how human connection plays a role in their life. I’m your host, Emily Merrell. 

Hello, and welcome back to the sixth degree with Emily Merrell, the podcast where we grill our guests about the things that make them tick, and find out how human connection plays a role in their life. I’m your host, Emily. And today, I’m thrilled to have Victoria Amiya, a sensuality coach as our guest. Victoria, welcome to the show.

 

Victoria Amiya 

Yay. Thank you very much. I’m really super happy to be part of this.

 

Emily Merrell 

And I love the fact that I love podcasts for the fact that you are in Barcelona right now. And I am at 7am in San Francisco, and we are living two very different days. What’s it like in Barcelona.

 

Victoria Amiya 

It’s super sunny and very, very warm. And it’s definitely the afternoon. So I am after my coffee. So caffeinated. And ready, ready for the chat.

 

Emily Merrell 

Oh, amazing. I think I love Barcelona, I definitely have a special place in my heart. For Barcelona. It was one of the first places in Spain ever visited. I just I fell in love with the culture and the food and the architecture. So go enjoy your weekend for me. So Victoria, the theme of today’s podcast is self love. And you know, as a sensuality coach, you help your clients embrace their femininity, FF I can’t say the word femininity, femininity, and then cover their sensual side. Can you tell me how you got started on this journey? And what both femininity and sensuality mean to you?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Yeah, of course, it’s, it’s been a long road, I have never really thought I would ever be approached, that was never my grand plan. I actually went on my own personal journey. And that’s where I started looking for more meaning of what femininity means what session sensuality means. I did not feel that much balance between the feminine and masculine energies in my own life. And in my own body for a very, very long time, I didn’t feel connected to my body, I didn’t feel that I am feminine, or light or fluid or whatever a feminine woman is. And so I went on this super long journey of traveling around the world and learning a lot of techniques, really discovering who I am, as a woman, through and through in order to get all these tools and and absorb all of this knowledge. And then at one point, I was kind of overflowing with all of this information. And I thought, Okay, well, this is enough, I need to start sharing because there was so many Wow, and aha moments that were not taught. And I thought it’s so important that women know about this and have someone to guide them. So they don’t have to go through seven years of self exploration exploration in order to get to the point where I am now. And so femininity and sensuality are super linked together. It’s almost the same because the sensual woman woman who’s totally connected to her senses, is the embodied feminine and the divine feminine.

 

Emily Merrell 

Oh, I love that. And I know you’ve been backing up a little bit more you. You’re not from Barcelona originally. You grew up in Lithuania.

 

Victoria Amiya 

Yeah, that’s right. So I’m in I grew up in Lithuania, I am through and through Lithuanian. And when I was 18, I moved to London, and 14 years, in London, I was doing a career, I was very much go getter pushing myself every single day fighting for my place under the sun. And you know, just wearing that masculine, the masculine shell that I needed to wear in order to feel safe, to feel capable to feel, you know, just respected to earn that respect, and to know that I can look after myself and be independent and powerful. And that’s how I completely lost who I am as a woman.

 

Emily Merrell 

I think that that feels like a very, very familiar story, I think, especially after university or you’re taught to conquer the world and be the best that you can be and femininity is not mentioned in that rulebook at all, or in that playbook of what you’re supposed to do. It actually makes me think about schooling and it makes me think about when we were in middle school or high school, even just thinking about how sexuality is discussed to us are taught to us. I don’t know how it was in Lithuania. But in the states in the town that I went to I don’t even think we had a sex ed. I can’t recall the sex ed at all. I remember like we had mental health training but when it came to talking about our body, I think we learned about eating disorders. That’s how we learned about with Buddy, but we didn’t learn about sex. We didn’t learn about pleasure. And could you imagine if like schools taught you those tools, or taught you to be like a, someone who sought out pleasure? And instead, I feel like we have to relearn or unlearn all the things that we were taught as little kids as grown adults. What was it like for you?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Yeah, I mean, in Lithuania, things are very censored as well, you know, to say the least, you you barely have any information around these topics. And even though it will be amazing, but it would be hard to imagine how from one day to another, you can go and expect the schools to be teaching you how to experience pleasure, the least that could happen is not to make you feel that it’s not okay to talk about it, to make you feel welcome to talk about sex, to talk about menstruation, to talk about bodies, so that you know that self exploration doesn’t seem so taboo. It doesn’t seem you know, when you when you want to explore your body, and when you want to understand a little more, you wouldn’t feel guilty for doing that. I think that is like the biggest trauma and the biggest block that a lot of women have is because they have been implanted this idea that it is not okay.

 

Emily Merrell 

100% And there’s so much shame associated with it. I feel like if you ever saw Game of Thrones, there was like the shame bell that the woman rings. And I feel like that’s what women are hearing every single time that they want to explore their sensuality or question, question something, it’s, it’s really impossible to do so. So, you know, in addition to those types of hurdles, what other sort of hurdles? Do you see your clients and the women that come into your life have in terms of leaning into their feminine, besides being boss, babes and, you know, societal programming?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Yeah, I mean, societal programming has so much to do with it. And obvious, obviously, all of this shame programming that we have. So a lot of the clients that I work with, have a lot of these blocks and a lot of this conditioning, about sex and sensuality, and therefore not being able to form really good intimate connections with our partners. And so then they tried to explain it with hormonal imbalances, or Livigno, or whatever else, you know, it’s simply not knowing of how your body works, and not knowing yourself enough. Another big thing and a big block that women that I work with come across is the balance between the masculine and feminine because they feel that being a feminine woman will mean losing their power, that it will mean that they will always need someone to count on that they will always need a man by their side to do whatever for them, you know, that they will lose that independence that they have fought to have for so many years. And that’s untrue, as well. And I would love for so many women to learn how much power actually lies in knowing yourself and knowing what you capable of a woman and being a woman is by no means a disadvantage. This is where the power lies. And accessing that power is what differs us from men and what you know, really accelerates us to different levels of experiences, including different relationships that can form between the masculine and the feminine just by knowing yourself as a woman.

 

Emily Merrell 

So true, that’s it’s such a powerful statement. I think there’s also this fear about, you know, leaning into your feminine. And not being a feminist or being a feminist. I think there’s a lot of confusion around femininity and feminism. Like if I’m a feminine, or very gosh, yeah, if I’m really Yeah, feminine and what like my dressing and in what I talk and how I act, then I can’t be a feminist. Can we talk a little bit more about that and the difference between the two?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Yeah, we can. Obviously there is a place for feminism and the causes that they are fighting for are good causes and understandable causes. It is very interesting to look at the history of where it all come from, and how women became so focused on fighting for their rights. So that’s always very, very interesting to look into. But it’s important to say that a feminine woman is very different from a woman that’s hardcore feminist. Why is that? Because feminism mainly stems from using the masculine force to fight for something. And the feminine energy as the energy is flow is adaptable is flexible, is nurturing is creative. It’s find it’s like water that runs it’s finding different ways in different paths doesn’t matter if there’s a stone like a big stone. Water will always find a way around it and just flow with it. And feminism whilst they said it has a rightful place. To be where it is, and it’s still uses that masculine force to fight for something, which is being in misalignment with a feminine energy in general.

 

Emily Merrell 

Which is crazy. So can someone be both feminine and feminine? A feminist and feminine?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Yes, yes. It’s a bal. It’s definitely a balance. But it’s, instead of saying I’m a hardcore feminist, it’s just knowing how to balance your masculine and the feminine. It’s using your queen archetype in your most feminine to, you know, achieve whatever, whatever goals you want to achieve.

 

Emily Merrell 

So what are the archetypes that you mentioned? The Queen archetype? Are I think of like playing cards, the game of the queen and the king? Is that Is that how I should be looking at archetypes?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Yeah, the archetypes like it’s super interesting topic that I think could change the life of every single woman if they knew better and connected better to their own archetypes. So if you look up on Google, or in anywhere, you know, if you look on search engine of women archetypes, you’ll probably come up with 17, and 27, and four, and seven, and then whatever else. But in reality, all of these archetypes go down and narrow down to four. So each woman has four archetypes, the lover, the queen, the warrior mother and the maiden. Now, because of the social conditioning that we have received, we are normally connected to two of them, and two of them are completely dormant. And so we are not getting the benefits and the beautiful things that the other two archetypes could offer us. And so for example, the Queen archetype is what most of the society has overdeveloped and maybe even turned at the shadow side, because queen is super strong, and she’s super strategic. But if it turns, the shadow side can be quite vengeful, and order, you know, other people around and super bossy. And so not knowing when is the right time to use your queen and misusing it, for example, in your relationships could actually damage them. No one really wants a partner who bosses them around right?

 

Emily Merrell 

No, not at all.

 

Victoria Amiya 

Exactly. And so there are other three archetypes that a woman can draw from, to really help nurture the relationship and keep the queen for the career where she doesn’t need to be bossy, and she needs to be strategic. And she needs to be you know, put her foot down. And she’s queen is amazing for setting boundaries as well. So yeah, every archetype has its own beautiful offering.

 

Emily Merrell 

I would imagine 95% of New York women are queens. Definitely, is especially I’m always impressed and kind of sometimes appalled by my friends even like how they, how they talk to like a cab driver, or how they talk to an Uber driver or something like that. Like it’s so, so bossy, and it’s so in control. And it’s so demanding. And to me, it comes off very entitled, as well, but I think it’s an overcompensation. And I do think it’s an aspect of a queen maybe.

 

Victoria Amiya 

Mmhmm yeah. And it’s exactly that it’s a woman not knowing which archetypes are really shining through her. And then I do have clients that come to me saying, Victoria, I really want a relationship, I really want to find someone and I can’t. And then I we talked a little bit and within the first five minutes, I can see they’re totally shining their queen through and so of course the guys you know will be intimidated to come up to you, if you are projecting this energy of pushing, go demanding and all of this, there needs to be flexibility at the end of the day, the energy that the masculine is attracted to, is feminine.

 

Emily Merrell 

And but it’s not necessarily like changing the person who they are?

 

Victoria Amiya 

No, not at all completely. Not at all. I do have clients that say to me, now Victoria the other two archetypes, it feels like I’m someone else. But that’s because she’s not connected to them. So it’s simply knowing when to allow that guard to come down because you are ready and yearning for love and yearning to find this person. And so you don’t want to have this guard up, but it’s so ingrained in you that you need it, that you’re unable to put it down anymore. And so it’s simply knowing when to use which archetype when to use which quality of yours, it’s simply a different aspect is like a 360 degree. You’re like 360 degrees, right? And every archetype was like, quarter of the act so you can keep spinning around and they are all part of you.

 

Emily Merrell 

Hmm, I love that. Well, that’s a great tool to put in our back pockets and just to keep in mind, especially as we navigate love and relationships and business, but what are some other tools and techniques that you would recommend getting using To get started in embracing the feminine?

 

Victoria Amiya 

I think the first one is just learning how to relax.

 

Emily Merrell 

That’s a funny one. What is relaxing? Tell me about that.

 

Victoria Amiya 

I think we really overthink so many things. And the feminine is all about flow and feminine is very interchangeable and adaptable and she she oozes confidence and she oozes that femininity because of how she goes through life and uses all of her senses to connect to that life. So relaxation, being relaxed is like one of the biggest things that a woman need to do start with breathing techniques, meditation, whatever.

 

Emily Merrell 

Oh my gosh, 100% I feel like all of us are so high strung. I was on a call yesterday and someone was like, I just feel like I don’t know where to start. Just breathe. Like let’s start with breathing. Looks like a clearing and cleansing breath. Just like what, but it’s true. It’s just like stopping and feeling for something. Well, I was curious, actually, you know in terms of tools and techniques. You’ve mentioned the Yoni egg before before I met you. I’ve read about Yoni eggs and I’ve read about there was this woman that I read about who’s a yoni? I think she’s a weightlifter. I don’t know if it’s a Yoni egg but weightlifter but she’s a weightlifter. And so basically she lifts heavy weights and surfboards with her yoni. So what the hell is a Yoni egg? And how is that a tool in embracing sensuality and the feminine?

 

Victoria Amiya 

That’s so funny. But yes, weightlifting is actually a thing in Yoni egg. Um, so Yoni eggs is a really beautiful practice that comes when that comes from ancient China. It’s nothing new, nothing that we’ve just invented. It’s something that’s really really old, because as you can see, with a lot of things, but just turning back into into the old methods, and the only technique is so incredibly profound on so many different levels on energetic spiritual, physical level. And Yoni is basically an egg shaped crystal that you would use inside your yoni. Yoni is a Sanskrit word for vagina. And so you would use this crystal which has its own weight to practice certain exercises to help and sensitize your vaginal canal. Because once again, a lot of women in the society have desensitized nerve endings in their vaginal canal, which is why they think that they cannot orgasm from you know intercourse that they always need to have clitorial stimulation and things like that, where in reality they simply desensitize, the Yoni egg helps you to re-sensitize those nerve endings. By doing the the exercises, the crystal itself brings its own healing qualities and properties. And weightlifting is actually something you do at a low more advanced level where you start hooking weights, quite literally, you know, you start with jewelry, you start with small things. And yes, I am not at a level of surfboards I would want to be but oh my god, it’s very, very interesting because you can develop that practice and just get the control of your vaginal muscles to the extent where you can actually help in the intercourse to slow down your partner or increases pleasure or keep everything because you you start differentiating their pec muscles, they’re inside your vaginal canal, and you can start squeezing different parts of it, in order to stimulate a different part of the lingam, which is penis in Sanskrit basically. And yeah, so Yoni eggs is a beautiful, beautiful practice. It has so many different layers to it, but a wonderful thing to dive into.

 

Emily Merrell 

Wow. And so if someone’s interested in starting with a Yoni egg, can they? It’s just crazy to say but like, can they just order one on Amazon?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Now I always get asked this question, Where can I get where where would you recommend buying you? And if I am and I always speak from the heart to my clients, I think a practice like this, this intimate which really works with your warm energy as well. It’s super healing. I always recommend and prefer that women find the egg and take a look at it and lift it physically before ordering something off of Amazon that will get packed and shipped and, you know, just kind of loses that sacred meaning of what this practice should be.

 

Emily Merrell 

So, like going to a crystal store and hand in evidence collecting it. I think exactly. I think that’s amazing. And as someone who is pregnant, and I feel like I will be in a few months coming back to you, I think we start, we start from scratch, I feel like I’m going to need some, some read teaching on help for feelings and sensations. So that’s really awesome to know about. And so my last question for you is, how can we learn more about you and your offerings, and you are clearly so knowledgeable and have like a wealth of information to provide but know, what are the next steps for learning with you.

 

Victoria Amiya 

I’m, I’m active on Instagram, and I have a website, Victoria mia.com. But I really love actually connecting to people because I think energy is such a big part of the work that I do. And I love hearing the stories of women that I work with. So I really encouraged to just arrange a call and just meet in person. I love hearing stories, and I love seeing if I can if I can contribute to their growth. And yeah, so just dropping the message that simply to say, hey, Victoria, I’d love to meet you is the perfect way.

 

Emily Merrell 

And what advice do you have for people, if there’s one thing that they need to do to get started on getting closer to their sensuality and femininity? What do you recommend they do?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Well, one of the first practices that I start doing with my clients is sensory awakening. I think that really is the key and the basis of connecting to your feminine energy. And so starting to really relax what we talked about at the beginning of this and start tuning in all of your senses, because essential and feminine woman is moving through life using all of her senses so so she sees a variety of colors and things around her she here she feels the wind on her skin and in her hair and just starting to tune in all of the senses, maybe even using less spices and salt in your food just to see what it would taste like if you wouldn’t have them there and start exploring these different dimensions of the tastes of what you see or what you hear what you feel, the more you used to.

 

Emily Merrell 

I love it. Ah, well, Victoria, thank you so much for sharing all of the information. We could probably talk about this for hours, you have so much to offer. But before we end, I would love to ask you six fast questions and get to know you a little bit deeper. So my first question for you is tell us an unknown fun fact about Victoria.

 

Victoria Amiya 

Oh, unknown fun facts. I got freaked out. This is really just coming in right now. I got really freaked out the first time I had a heart chakra orgasm. Oh, yeah. Because my body went numb. And I didn’t know what was going on. And I had to text my Tantra teacher to just make sure I’m okay.

 

Emily Merrell 

Did it what did it feel like? Like, what was this sensation? What would you describe it to?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Oh, my goodness, it was, it was so much love. I don’t I don’t know I’ve ever felt so much love. And I wasn’t you know, I’m not with that partner, for example anymore. And it was coming from a completely different place. But I felt so much love that I’ve started crying. Absolutely with no control. My hands went numb and my face went numb. And it was very interesting. kind of freaked out and the partner freaked out.

 

Emily Merrell 

He’s like, What did I do to you? I broke you. Oh my god, I love it. I feel like there’s um, that’s kind of like breath work. Like, I feel like the first time you do breath work, how your hands turn into lobster claws and things like that are like what is my body capable of like what is happening here?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Exactly. And breath is such a big thing of you doing tantric sex and just being you know, in that moment, sens in the sensual sentence. That yeah, I think it played a part as well.

 

Emily Merrell 

Wow, that’s incredible. I’m going to Google that after our call. And then my next question for you would be who would be a dream person to be connected with?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Wow. Honestly, I never thought about this. Um, I think as cheesy as it might sound, every person that I meet and every new story that I hear from my clients or not clients, it’s enriching my life in a certain way that I cannot explain. So I don’t have a guru. For example, Leila Martin is wonderful. I love the work that she does, and I would love to meet her but I think even at this level I would prefer to speak to someone who’s going through through their story because I find it a lot more relatable. I don’t know if that answers the question is not directly answering your question but yeah. 

 

Emily Merrell 

So not staying basically who’s doing Tantrics?

 

Emily Merrell 

No not now, I read a lot of about them but but No, probably not,

 

Emily Merrell 

Not have okay. But I think that’s a good point. So of being connected with people who are going through their own journeys and what not, rather than.

 

Victoria Amiya 

I mean, now that you mentioned staying, I think, Gwyneth Paltrow story is very interesting, how she, like went through this transition and is now doing a lot of conscious work and is facing backlash and all of these things so yeah.

 

Emily Merrell 

Yeah, very interesting. It’s funny Gwyneth Paltrow is one of those people people either like love her or love to hate her. I love her personally, I find everything she does a little bit controversial a little bit, but I think she does it on purpose too. I think she like she’s she’s a persona she’s a she’s a character, but I appreciate the conversations that she’s having and introducing people to I think Yoni eggs for example, were something that a lot of people didn’t know about on the couch or brought that into her TV show. Which brings me to my next question for you. Are there any TV shows that you’re currently watching in recommend?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Well, I’m I’m actually not a huge TV show girl. I love Gaia TV. I don’t know if you know what that is. But it’s like, like the it’s like Netflix for conscious media. So there’s a lot of really, really interesting subjects and topics and I love there are a few episodes on the rise of the wise woman and the feminine and ancient civilizations because I love history and just understanding how how incredible and powerful we are. If we talk at something more Earth level, I have I think last December I watched Outlander on Netflix and I loved it.

 

Emily Merrell 

People have I think on the last call too someone said Outlander, so I definitely need to check it out.

 

Victoria Amiya 

Oh, yeah. Oh, it’s hedonist on another level as well. So be prepared.

 

Emily Merrell 

That’s what I’ve heard I think it was, I think my husband was a little confused when I kept watch as it goes, Look, I’m watching this classic show bridgerton. And he walks in and it’s like, essentially porn.

 

Emily Merrell 

And I’m like, it’s historical fiction. I don’t know. So what are you watching, though? Yes, I will add that to the list that is definitely been on the list for a long, long time. So I love that. What book are you reading? Or do you recommend?

 

Victoria Amiya 

I recommend the book, I’m looking at my books right now. I recommend the book vagina by Naomi Wolf. And like one of my, one of my favorite books, it’s someone who has, if you like, like to know your thing, and the science behind why your vagina works one way or another way, perfect way your hormones are one way or another way. perfect book for you to read. A very, very interesting thing about contraception there, which you know, you can read about and how we can pick the wrong partner just simply because we are on contraception. Yeah, that’s something really juicy that came up. Like it’s stuck with me. And I keep talking about it all the time. But you know, our brains are getting changed. Yeah yeah.

 

Emily Merrell 

So that’s a really interesting idea. And then you get off contraception, and you’re like, I hate you. This is terrible. You wake up.

 

Victoria Amiya 

Exactly.

 

Emily Merrell 

I definitely feel like your body can be allergic or like know, when the person’s not the right person. I personally have had those experiences before when you’re dating someone, you’re like, I want it to work so badly, but your body is properly rejecting rejecting that person in some way, shape or form. So it’s incredible. The idea of contraception, you know, attracting the wrong people or having those aha moments after the fact. That’s a whole Gosh, that could be a whole new conversation. My other question for you is, what is your favorite emoji that you send to friends or you use most regularly?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Um, I kind of. I kind of like Winky faces and stuff like that. But I also do use quite a lot of fire emojis. Yeah.

 

Emily Merrell 

It’s it’s a funny question. I feel like once you actually look at it, you’re like, Oh, my God, I have like a problem. I keep using the same ones over and over and over again. And then my final question for you, Victoria is Who inspired you and or gave you the permission to do the thing that you wanted to do with your life?

 

Victoria Amiya 

Well, that’s a very deep question. And I’m gonna be completely honest, it was a lot of years of work, but it was me who gave myself permission to do the work. I do. And it did take a lot of work to get here,,

 

Emily Merrell 

seven years who said, around? Well I’m so happy that you went on that journey, and that you can inspire and encourage and tell the story, tell your story and share your story and learning to other incredible women in this world. So thank you. Thank you for sharing your story today and teaching us about so many things from archetypes to Yonis to gosh, what was it contraception, relationships. So I really appreciate it Victoria.

 

Victoria Amiya 

Thank you so much for having me, Emily. I Yes. Thank you for doing what you do and shining your light. And I’m so happy and I can’t wait to hear how it all goes. And when we can start working with the Yoni egg to help

 

Emily Merrell 

you believe me. I will be getting a call of a crying baby on me but like I need this. This is crazy. And listeners. Thank you for joining us today on the sixth degree podcast. If you liked today’s episode, please make sure to share with a friend give us a five star review and let us know what you think. And we’ll see you the next time on this sixth degree