Emily Merrell  00:00

Hey, my name is Emily Merrell. I’m a taco loving people connector. And I’m obsessed with playing the name game, and all things networking. I’m the founder of secondary society, a female focused networking community, as well as a business coach for female business owners passionate about bringing their business to the next level with the help of events, community and connections. I crave deep conversations, and I’m continuously curious to see what makes people tick. And I’m invested in uncovering their stories with some life lessons along the way. This podcast is aimed to inspire and educate as you tackle your busy day. So join the conversation and tune in for the second degree podcast. I’m your host, Emily Merrell. And today I’m so excited to have my new friend Kelsey Smith. She is the founder of mama has goals. Kelsey, welcome to the show. Thanks so much for having me. It’s an honor. It’s an honor, I love it is a really is you’ve been one of my favorite people I’ve met in the last couple months of my business growth. It’s always super fun. When you meet someone, I always say that their art and strategy and energy also matches like their brain. And it’s just like all connected. And because we can meet smart people, we can meet nice people. And when they can meet someone that’s fun, and likes to talk about strategy and is also just like a solid person. Those are my favorite people. So thanks for being one, please, for making me cry straight out of the gate. I was actually thinking about this. Right before I got on the podcast. I was like, I’m so Okay, well, I’ve been consulting for a university, which I love consulting for. But it’s very professional. It’s very academic, and I get on calls. And I always feel a little self conscious, because I haven’t been in an academic world since I was in college. And I haven’t been in the corporate world for nearly eight years. And so it’s always so, so fascinating to be in rooms with people who, like aren’t throwing jokes around or playful, very much like following the agenda. And so I was thinking about this, like, the moment before we got onto this call just how grateful I am. I’m guys, I’m wearing a sweatshirt, my hair, I don’t know when the last time I watched it, I think three days ago, and like, we can show up authentically as myself and I’m not, I’m not hopping on this call or on this podcast being like, oh my god, Kelsey is gonna judge me and she’s gonna think this thing like you’re, we can be exactly who we are in our businesses, which is super cool. 

 

Kelsey Smith  02:30

Yeah, I love that you bring that up, I do have a button up on and a necklace, but I have biker shorts on. So I am 100% love, being able to do that. And being a business owner helps. But I will say when I was still working for someone, I think I put a lot of thought on myself that I would not show up full out in meetings or in rooms because I thought that I couldn’t. And I wish that I did more. And I gave myself permission that if it just wasn’t received the right way, but it wasn’t the right place. For me. Of course, there’s a way to handle yourself and carry yourself. But if you do that in a way that’s still respectful, and people just can’t be fun or be real humans. And I do think the pandemic helped people kind of be real people again. But it is interesting when you go back into a space after you’ve kind of been in this world and you’re like, oh, we have to pretend we’re not people again. Okay, I’m sorry. 

 

Emily Merrell  03:25

Seriously, that’s a great way of putting it pretending we’re not people actually brought this up to my husband yesterday, I was talking reflecting in corporate version, fashion. And one of the one of the feelings and recurring nightmares I had was this shame, fear that I would get pregnant out of wedlock. And that I would show up pregnant out of wedlock in my corporate environment and have to explain my situation to people, which now if, I mean, if that happened, I’d be very bizarre, because I’m married and have a kid already. But you know, like it would, I would be a lot more comfortable with who I am. But as a 20 something year old, that fear and that shame was so, so big in my mind of just not following the status quo. So did you ever have like a shame that you carried around going to work?

 

Kelsey Smith  04:17

Yeah, so many different things. Like, I’m just thinking of like, specific situations where I was just like, wow, these are not my people, or I can’t show up in this way. But there are definitely times where I’d be worried about what I was wearing. Or if I said the right thing or all of that. And there’s so much of it that I wish I could kind of go back and redo but also I just want to like hug that version of me and be like, Oh, you’re so cute. Little did, you know, you’re just gonna like leave one day. You’re like one example. times. Like, yeah, you fly that flag. In some ways. I mean, I think we have to love each version of us, right? So even that version One of us that’s like, gosh, you know, don’t get pregnant out of wedlock like, Okay, now we know better. And now we know that one. Some people like strive for that. And that’s a goal of theirs and others, you know, may see that as a mistake or a fault. But I think part of my growing up and maturing and evolving as a person is just knowing that it’s not about what anyone else thinks of me, it’s just about me, and am I on my right track? And am I doing the right thing? And if you carry that shame of like, Gosh, I really didn’t want to get pregnant in this way, then. Okay, that’s maybe a little different, like you’re entitled to like your goals and wishes. And if you don’t want that for yourself, that’s totally fair. But if you don’t want it because of someone else’s perspective, then that’s when you have to do like a shift and be like, Okay, wait, why do I not want to do this thing? Go?

 

Emily Merrell  05:48

 I think that’s it, you nailed that I was it was all about the perspective and that perception. I didn’t want to be perceived in this way. When everyone Yeah, I remember, I remember a boss talking. Someone else on our team who wasn’t married at by like 30. And I was in my early 20s 30 felt like a million years old at that point. And she’s like, Yeah, I can, like she’s not married. I was like, Yeah, I kept like, she’s not married. I wasn’t married by 30 are just like us. So it’s just, it’s always so funny. Like, what you pair it back and what you hear and what, again, this little microcosm that you’re surrounded by, you interpret and then you repeat back, and then you grow out of it. And you’re like, What the fuck was I drinking? 

 

Kelsey Smith  06:32

And it’s so hard, because I don’t think there’s like a way that people can just have that perspective or experience until you kind of pause and you look back, and you’re like, Whoa, what was I thinking? So it’s not even as a parent, like, I don’t even really know how to teach otter instill that to my kids, because there’s gonna be perspectives that they have. And there’s going to be things that they think that there’s certain things we can shift, right, having an open mind having an understanding, like, having self confidence and belief in yourself. Like those are all great characteristics. But at the end of the day, it’s part of just like the human experience to look back and be like, Oh, I’ve learned I’ve evolved, right, and I don’t really think there’s a way to prevent most of it. 

 

Emily Merrell  07:13

Well, and Kelsey, I think this is a good tee up for introducing you and you are someone who is think about goals. And you’re big about mama having goals. So first off, I just want to I want to call out Kelsey is based in Napa, California. So I am kicking myself that we didn’t connect when I lived in California, because we would be spending our weekends together sipping wine if I was still there. So I would love to hear how you went from this girl in Napa to who was working for other people to then creating a platform, an app called mama has goals. Can you tell us more about that

 

Kelsey Smith  07:52

journey? Yeah, so I, you know, taking it back a little bit further, I did struggle in high school with depression and anxiety. And I always say a roller coaster, between Captain at the dance team and the popular girl to the girl that like wasn’t showing up to school and not because I was doing bad things because I was sleeping. And those are things that I think until even more recently, I didn’t realize how coming out of that I went to college right after school, and just kind of started unpacking this fact that I did always want more for my life. And I really think that the more people I meet, kind of resonate with feeling like even in high school, or whether it was in college, that a lot of the people that identify with ambition, have these moments where they feel really lost. And it kind of gives them this paralysis because they don’t feel like they’re in a place to be the person they want to be. And they don’t know how to move forward. And I didn’t realize that at the time. Like we were just saying, looking back, like, I carried so much shame from that. But also I was just didn’t know where to take steps or what to do. And then I went to college and went to school for business. I always knew I wanted to go to school for business, mainly because I knew it gave me options. And I wanted to be able to support myself and my family and my parents. And that was a big goal for me. So went through that was still really struggling mentally. But I was always outgoing and optimistic. And so I covered it really well and was just really trying to survive each day and move it through that ended up meeting my now husband who was really just one of my best friends and he really gave me this new belief of what I was capable of and I don’t really advocate for needing someone else to pull that out of you. But he did he did really help me put a fire under allowing myself to really rise up to my capabilities. So we went through life checks all the boxes really supported each other. graduated college got married that year, bought a house was doing my dream life in so many ways checking all the boxes and after I had my first son a couple years later I ended up having complications with my delivery. And I didn’t figure out what I had complications until about 10 months later, I realized that I just never really felt 100% afterwards started unpacking all these things that could be how to plan surgery. And then two weeks later ended up in the emergency room, from complications from that surgery. Now, through that whole experience, I have never had medical complications, I’ve always been a really healthy person. So waking up and realizing how quickly something can change and how quickly things can be taken away. The question that I had just having in my brain my son was a year old was if I hadn’t made it through this, what story would I have left behind for him? What would he have known about mom, and I just sat there realizing I’d done everything I wanted to do at that point. And I didn’t feel like he would know like really neat behind the scenes like my heart, my desires, my visions, any of that. And I had no idea how to even tell that for myself, let alone, let alone for him. But that is really where it shifted is I have to figure out how to communicate this and fast forwarding really fast that started with me, trying to get our house organized, I really just started practicing gratitude, I felt guilty for wanting more out of this beautiful life that we already had. And as I started unpacking this and looking for resources online, I noticed that I had all these different buckets of other people in my life, who I loved, but couldn’t support me in this journey. And they were also needing support and various things that they needed. And I just really wanted to create a platform that supported people finding the resources that they needed. And for me, that meant goals. I always wanted goals. And I said I don’t care if your goal is to take a shower to organize your pantry with beautiful labels, or it’s to build this amazing Empire business, whatever that is for you. We all should be progressing. And so mama has goals was born. And now it’s a podcast and an app where we feature other support and resources and groups and community. And it’s been a crazy journey. 

 

Emily Merrell  12:06

Holy smokes. So I want to wow. Okay, I want to back up to college. So you left college and you got you got married fairly young. Right, right out of college. Yeah. Yeah, pretty. I mean, it definitely. So I was I think I just turned 24 When we got married.  So you started you started this coupled life pretty, pretty young. Settle down. I love what you said, you’re checking off the boxes. And I so resonate with you, when you you talked about what would happen? What what is the legacy? What is this story? What would your husband who knows you? So well, who’s known you probably more than about half your life at this point. What he what would he say? Like she was so organized, she was really great at keeping us well fed. Like what what are the stories and so I love that, I hate that you had to go through this, this big, scary moment to get there. But think that such a real moment. Giving birth and or having kids can can do it to shake someone up. I felt similarly I felt I remember I have you’ve probably seen these Instagram memes or where it’s like someone filming their own video of themselves for their footage for my funeral because my husband ever takes pictures of me that feeling like what would the memories be if people were going to talk about me after my death, which is a wild, wild sensation to even think about. 

 

Kelsey Smith  13:37

And I think even going back to when we’re talking about the shame that you would carry for like getting pregnant out of wedlock. Going back to that story. It wasn’t that I felt like I needed to create these things for other people to talk about me. And sometimes I hear people tell my story to others and get that kind of misconception. Of course, I was curious. I was curious, like, What would people say. But for anyone that maybe resonates with that, I think where the success comes from is looking and saying like, I just wanted to make myself proud at the end of the day. And he did want to make my my kids proud. So it was also for them. Like at the end of the day. I don’t really care if anyone else is proud of me. But I would like my kids to be proud of like, who their mom is and what I attempted to do as a parent as a person. And I wanted to be proud of myself. And yeah, like you said, you know, my husband would tell stories. He’s a great person. I know he would try his best but at the end of the day, like we just needed more depth in our life. We were so busy on just checking the boxes. 

 

Emily Merrell  14:39

Oh, so there to say. So, talk to me a little bit about how you recommend you start from this life that you have. But then you go ahead and you craft your life vision statement and strategic plan moving forward. How do you get away from you know, walk away from this incredible surgery that you went through and decide to start something? What were the steps that you took and recommend other steak? Yeah, first

 

Kelsey Smith  15:07

and foremost, just like messy action. There are so many people that go through things and they sit in indecision for such a long time. And I didn’t not do that, like there was definitely a period that I can vividly remember where I would sit on the floor of our living room after everyone had gone to bed scrolling my phone, looking for like something to inspire me something to pop out. And I do think that that’s a portion of the season, but you almost have to give yourself like a deadline to say, Okay, I’m going to do something at this time. And I had no idea what action was taking this was January 2020. So just a couple of months afterwards, I was then locked in my house, trying to figure all of this out. So it was a blessing in disguise, because it gave me some mental silence. But strategically, like you’re saying, a couple of things that I did that I really think helped is, at that point, I didn’t feel proud of myself for the things we had accomplished. And that was crazy. Because we had bought, we had partnered on a 30 acre property at 24 years old, I had checked all these boxes, done amazing things, in many ways that I wasn’t given anything, you know, I worked three jobs to get through college, all of those things where I could have been really proud of myself, but I wasn’t because I was so busy and just getting there. And so the first thing I did was every morning, I or night, wherever I could put it in, I would make myself write down something I was grateful for, and something I was proud of myself for. And that was really what I started with. And after two weeks, they say typically two weeks to form a habit, I truly felt differently about myself. And so I think sometimes people think it takes so long, it really took two weeks for me to get more inspired and start taking baby steps. I’m also getting outside, it sounds so simple. But going for a quick little walk or sitting outside really helps me shift like how I was thinking about things and what I was doing. And then when it comes to a vision statement, we hear those phrases in our jobs and for businesses, what is their mission statement and vision statement values? I do really stand behind establishing that for your family, and it’s not set in stone, you can change it. But when I sat down and really mapped out, what do we want to be? What do we want our life to look like? If you’re not apparent, it’s looking at do you want to be if you don’t want to be? How are you spending your time? Where do you want to be for retirement, it can all change. But you know, it’s really true that if you don’t have a plan, or you don’t have directions, you’re probably not going to get to where you want to go. And we sat down and we just kind of play like, is this for us? Is this you know, choose your own adventure? Do we want to go this way? Do we want to go that way, and we still do it. But there are certain things that we know are part of our family and our journey and where we want to go. This also really helps us make decisions. So when something comes up, one of the things we noticed at this period of our life is our schedules were so full, but it wasn’t really things that were fulfilling us. They were people we loved, but it was just small talk all the time. And we started getting really clear with what we were going to say no to and what we were going to say yes to. And we still saw those people, but we maybe didn’t need to see them for three barbecues that month, we could just see them for one, right? We wanted to love on them. But we could kind of shift up how we were spending our time and energy. And that came back to our vision statement. So if we got invited somewhere, we would say like does this fit into our week, I would also look at my week and say is this a joy or a stressor. And I would notice every time something came up on my calendar, it was either bringing me joy, your stress, obviously more choice, less stress. So that was really I would say like the first six months and cleaning up our environment. Like I’m not a hugely messy person. But I’m also not like super meticulous and organized as much as I wish I was. But I respond so much better to a clean environment. So getting things cleaned up decluttering really trying to minimalize for me, I’m definitely not a minimalist, but minimalizing for me, that was what that first six months looked like I was really just figuring out how to operate better and get clear on who I wanted to be. 

 

Emily Merrell  19:17

I love this so much. And I feel like I say to my husband and I actually want to ask you do you guys have a family motto? 

 

Kelsey Smith  19:26

Not like a specific we have a couple of things that we say but we don’t have like a identified family motto. 

 

Emily Merrell  19:31

I feel like in movies or in TV shows they’re like you know the Jonas family they are the data and they have like a little goes after them. So I always say this to my husband. I’m like I think we need like a family motto or family values and like sit down and do family values. He thinks I’m off my deep end sometimes off the deep end, which is a little problematic. You’ll do it but I don’t think you’ll enjoy doing it. But I love love that you did that and you Hold the vision together with your your whole family. And you came together because it’s, you’re so right. If you don’t have the directions, you have no idea where you’re going. And if you both can copilot, driving, it’ll be that much easier. 

 

Kelsey Smith  20:13

Yeah, I love that you bring up a family motto because even saying that we did build out a family vision statement for this season. And we’re both very clear that it could change. And it’s pretty broad. And we have it printed and it’s in our dining room. And it was a part of a program like we had kind of a paper version that we had of our own but the printing it and really finalizing it was a part of a program that I encouraged him to join with me that I was a part of. And my husband is very quiet introverted. So he’s not like, Yep, let’s write our vision statement. And let’s get our family motto. And I love that you bring that up. But something that we talk a lot about is I say, okay, like, what’s the negative? So if we sit down, and we map this out, like what negative comes from it, and that does help our conversations a lot. But what I will tell you is sometimes when people start feeling again, and they’re not just getting through the motions of every day, it does get harder first. And so when we talk about, you know, what is the negative that is hard for people, I’ve seen it firsthand, I’ve seen it with friends and family is when you start to question like, where do I want to go, and you’re creating this bigger vision and you’re dreaming again, you become vulnerable, which is difficult. It’s hard. And you have to you’re, you’re, you’re like the Grinch when his heart grows, and he’s feeling and all that he’s like, Oh, it was almost easier to just be grumpy and not do that. And it might be some days, it might be easier. I don’t think enough people talk about that is really being in tune with your life and feeling sometimes it’s really hard. It’s an all beautiful, but it’s a trade off. It’s so true. I 

 

Emily Merrell  21:49

I remember vividly when I went to therapy for the first time I was I described my heart. I was like it’s in a lot lockbox. I can feel for certain things. But I like can’t feel and then all of a sudden, when you like work through all the pain and whatnot, you’re like I feel every Sarah McLaughlin, commercial so hard, and everything feels so intense, which I think is is wonderful, because it means that you can actually live versus just move through the motions of life. I agree. And it is hard. 

 

Kelsey Smith  22:20

And so I think if you’re listening, you’re like, gosh, I want to create a motto or I want to create a family vision, but you don’t feel like you have the support in your house. I think rather than saying like, I’ve done this, mistakenly myself, or I’ll be like, let’s do this specific thing. Get more in tune with, like the result that you’re desiring rather than exactly how you get there. So if you’re like, I want a family vision statement, just like I said, like, what’s the bad result? I could go to my husband and say, what’s the negative of this? Why would we do it? He could also come and say like, Okay, well, if your your goal is that we just feel connected, and we’re on the same page, and that we’re working towards this. Is there another way we can get there? Like, do we have to write a three sentence line item thing? Or could we go for a walk as a family? Could we sit outside, you know, what are some other ways that you could connect and get a similar result. And in the end, you might end up with a family motto. But to build your family motto, you you might even have to have some of those experiences first and figure out hey, what do we love doing together? And what does it mean to be the blink family? What does it mean to be us and you kind of have to try things on for size. We just went to Disneyland in this. Like I love Disney families, but we’re just not a Disney family. Like we had fun. It was amazing. We had a great experience we built memories, but like we have no desire to like leave and go book our next trip. And I don’t know if I just lost you as a friend by saying that but for anyone grands by saying but so many people are like how could you not be a Disney family? Like how could you not want to go every year? And there’s no right or wrong answer. Like there’s no way to build your family in your life. Some people are going to be like, our family gets so much joy for going to Disney so many times. And other for us. I’m like yeah, that was fun. We’ll probably go back and do California Adventure Another day, another time. But in the meantime, we’re focused on like going to the snow this year and like going to different things are way more important to us. And it’s totally cool if Disney brings you joy, but more establishing like what are those things for our family rather than getting so focused on like, the checkbox or the statement because then you’re just getting right back there. Right? Like if you’re only focused on the fact of having a vision statement, you’re doing the same thing just like wrapped up differently. Right. So I focus on living this Yeah, no, this is such

 

Emily Merrell  24:40

this is such good fodder and this is such a good way to think about about approaching it and having these conversations and even my brain is going to make Yeah, we love doing our family walks and I don’t know if you did this when you got married but like on The Bachelorette night, my sister interviewed me and asked me questions like What’s Greg’s ideal date night what would Greg say Emily’s ideal date night is and what’s your date night you know and it was like a Friday night in ordering a pizza and drinking a nice bottle of wine and watching any movie together. Or social butterflies but then like we love the quiet of and family so yeah there’s there’s things that are percolating as you’re talking to me and like Yeah, we love we love spending quality time with our child or we love he’s turning into in Lisbon this year. Yeah, you know, just Oh, cool. adventuring the world. 

 

Kelsey Smith  25:33

So thank you for for percolate. Curriculum. Yeah. Yes, it can be so small. I think we do overcomplicate joy. Last night was my husband and I seven year wedding anniversary. And we did go to like an early dinner. And we did a couple of things. But at the end of the night, we played Yahtzee together. And it was our favorite part of the day. And I think sometimes we just overcomplicate how do we have to do things? We don’t personally give gifts to each other for things unless it’s like totally random, and we just think of each other. So a friend was like, Oh, are you guys exchanging gifts? I was like, no, like, we’re gonna go for a walk in the morning. We’re gonna go grab some food together. And we’re gonna play Yahtzee. And that’s like our perfect day. But it doesn’t have to like if someone’s listening, and you’re like, that sounds? That’s okay. Yeah. But the point is getting really clear on like, what that looks like for you and feeling what makes you feel good. What makes your heart field. 

 

Emily Merrell  26:25

And I think this is applicable, whether you have kids, whether you have a partner, whether you’re living alone, just knowing like what gets you out of bed in the morning and excites you inside and keeps you motivated. So thinking about that i How did you I want to go back to this app. So you created an app, you had this problem? Or like, I want to create an app. Did you always know that Mama has goals was going to be an app? Or was there ever a time it was going to just live as a website? Yeah, no. 

 

Kelsey Smith  26:58

So the way this really first started, my second was two weeks old. And I great time to start a business. Yeah, great time. And I just was I do to be honest, like, I feel like I had a different version of like, postpartum anxiety that I just dealt with in a very different way. Because I was just like, depressed to do something I was so used to being busy, and my baby was sleeping. And my first I was like, very relaxed. I like chivvy, run out relaxed. And something about my second just like kind of Rebrov out this wanting to build something. And it wasn’t so big. It was just like, I’m feeling called to share part of my motherhood journey and like a different way. And so what that looked like to start was I created just like an ebook, PDF download, that was a period of time, it was like six weeks to get your life feeling better, because that’s literally what I had done the year before. Right? When I after that surgery, I was like, Okay, I need to get my life together. And the way that we did it, we just took on like, one new thing each week. So it wasn’t overwhelming. And so I basically created this framework for that was like, Okay, I’m just gonna, like, put this eBook out there to help people. And then once it was built, I was like, Okay, well, then how are people going to? Where are they gonna go next? Like, I don’t have a business around this, like, it’s just a guide to help them. I was like, do I start a Facebook group? Like, what do I do? I don’t know. And then I went down this rabbit hole that we so often do, if you’re a business owner, you may realize is you just keep like building without actually like putting something out there. So like that ebook, never saw the light of day, it didn’t ever actually like it. I mean, it was created. And I still use portions of it. But I never like launched a an ebook that I was selling. And what I realized at that point, I just had my second, they’re just over two years apart, I had spent so much of my time over the last two years underneath a little human. And a lot of times, I was scrolling on my phone, which I’m actually an advocate for a good algorithm and what you can learn on social media if you’re looking at the right things, but often we’re not. And we don’t actually have a ton of control over what we’re seeing either, even if your intentions are good. So I wanted to create something at that point. I was like, You know what, when they’re done with this, I just they need to go somewhere else to continue their growth to continue their goals. And I’m just figuring out my own life like that was what I had under control. I need to be able to help connect them with the right people. And so mana has goals was really this concept of, I believe everyone has goals, and they all look different. They all come in different seasons in different ways. But we are meant to be supported through that, whether that is communities so we have groups where you can connect with your people, or its mentorship people like you that saying here let me help you do this specifically in your business or in your life. Your child is struggling with anxiety. Here’s a resource for you You’re struggling with anxiety, here’s a resource for you, you want to get a new job and you need to write a resume, here’s a resource for you, you want to cute pantry, whatever it is that you want to do. Here’s someone that can help you. And so what we do is every category has a page that you can get for free, where you can take your first action step. So you can automatically see a win, get something for free, that can help support you. And then if you’re like, Okay, I like that person, I’m feeling a little bit better, I see opportunity here, then you can go connect with that person that can support you more. And we also have like daily check ins and journal prompts and a couple other things. But those were really where it started. And no, I didn’t know how to build an app or how to start any of that. But I knew I wanted something on the phone because I had just been under a little human for two years. And I had one hand and I will say, our community now is so many ages of children all the way up to empty nesters that they have a different reason of it needing to be there on the computer or the phone. But that’s where it came from is I knew I only had one hand for those years. And I wished that something like that existed. And so when I wasn’t there, you decided to build it yourself. Yeah. And I searched everywhere. And I tried to find something and for my own needs, I was like, I need to learn more about this, why can’t I just find a mix between like Pinterest and Google and to connect me with a real person and help me and I couldn’t find anything. And I will say like since then I found things that are better than what I found at the time. But still, the reason I keep going is because I still want this for myself and others. And I see the need. And it’s been a really, really fun but crazy journey. I love it. And they love I love that you took the problem. And instead of it obviously you did what most people should do is look around, see if it exists. So you don’t reinvent the wheel and then take action, messy action where you get going. 

 

Emily Merrell  31:57

And I imagine you had help, right? Or did you do the whole coding and building of the platform by yourself? 

 

Kelsey Smith  32:04

Yeah, so I was back in my full time job. And we don’t have like a fund that I could just build a custom app with. So I had to figure out, how can I do this? How can I bring this dream to life. And I actually think having some of those restrictions of not having like a savings account dedicated to my middle of the night goals and dreams is a good way to help force you to be a problem solver and get started. And so I just did a ton of research on what can I do. And I will tell you, basically what I did is I used a bunch of different sandbox environments, there, I’m not going to call them a sandbox, because if you are a tech person, that means something different. But I use a lot of different pieces of puzzles to make my own puzzle and put it together. So it’s not I’ve customized the sandbox, but I still play in a sandbox for the most part, and I connect a bunch of different things. So I didn’t do a fully fully custom operation. I’m utilizing best of service and a bunch of different areas with my own kind of flavor and skin on top of it. I took me a lot of time, and it took a lot of problem solving. And like even the developers I did work with that utilize those different things that I put together, they’re like, no one’s done it this way. And I’m like, Well, this is how I want to do it. So I do it a little bit differently. I will tell you, if you’re a business owner, and you’re looking for an app, something that I didn’t know about, then that I would recommend looking into, it’s just so much easier and so much more affordable, is called a PWA, which is a progressive web application. And basically, it turns your existing website into an app. This is really great, especially if it’s just for like usability and like your current audience. And you’re not trying to market to a new audience through an app. So again, like my business and my goals, I don’t think it’s so would have been the best fit. But it’s something that I’ve learned about scents that I think so many people could take advantage of. And they don’t know it’s an opportunity, if you just want to be able to put part of your website onto like a phone. So I would look into that. And custom apps can range anywhere from probably like 5000 to $2 million. And you have to do like a discovery project, which is going to cost you anywhere from like 300 to $3,000, at least. So there’s such a range. And so when people ask me, they’re like, Well, how much would it cost? It’s all based off of what you’re trying to do. There’s not like a one answer for that.

 

Emily Merrell  34:25

And one other thing that people I feel like should know about are the idea of white labeling an app. So if there’s apps out there that you’re like, wow, I really like this interface, or I like what it’s doing, reach out to them and see if there’s an opportunity to white label it. And maybe that’s paying $79 a month and an initiation fee versus you reinventing the wheel from scratch. Yeah, basically any software application. And so that’s part of what I’ve done. I’ve basically white labeled different versions of apps but like also customized it in different ways. And it’s not probably the end all be All technology that I’ll use, but it helped me get started and was a way for me to be able to do it. But any platform that you see whether it’s your email provider or your anything, that any sort of software, there’s typically an opportunity to white label in some way in some facet. And yeah, but it’s not something I knew about either. Until then. Yeah, you don’t know what you don’t know until we share those resources. But I appreciate what you said about not having a fund to do this. And so you had to figure out how to do this. And I have met with so many different types of people over my career where I’ve met the people who are like, wow, yeah, I have like, four year runway, so I’m in no rush. And I’ve had the people who, like me, were like, I just quit my job. And I’ve got nominal amounts and savings, and I live in New York City. So we’re gonna make this shit work today, we’re gonna start this car. And I think there is something to be said about this, the little hunger inside of you, when you don’t have, you don’t have the revenue or you don’t have that long runway where you will figure things out and you’ll get hungrier and scrappier and more creative in a way that I’m sure you’ve seen this as well. We’re just people are like throwing money at things, versus learning how to run their business. 

 

Kelsey Smith  36:16

Yeah. And I’ve even made some of those mistakes, like for sure, you know, and I didn’t have the money to just be like throwing it at things. But I’ve definitely made mistakes where I’ve brought someone in as a contractor, or then like, can someone just do this for me, and I haven’t, like, I’ll use Pinterest as an example, my business would be so benefited by Pinterest, and I know it like it is such something on my to do list that I need to put out there. And I tried to get a virtual assistant to help me with it. Because I was like, I just don’t have the time when there is a really tricky balance and business ownership and motherhood and in your life, like are you outsourcing your meal prep? Are you outsourcing your Pinterest setup? Or are you learning how to do it? And only you know, like, is it the right thing for your business? And I think when I started my business, I was looking for this map. And I think if anyone can learn anything, there’s no map to life. There’s no map to your business, there’s no map to motherhood, you have to figure it out. And it’s different for everyone. And once I started realizing that, like I stopped looking for answers, and I got more focused on just creating the answer in my business. That’s when I started feeling better and seeing success. So don’t look for answers, just like there’s obviously better strategies and mentors can help you. I actually just gave this analogy the other day on a session that it’s like a copilot, and you’re driving the car, right? So the copilot can read your directions for you, they can help you get there faster, they’re going to tell you where to go, Oh, hey, did you see that sign? You know, that’s helpful. And they’re going to probably support you getting there in a better way. But you still have to drive the car. And that I feel like there were portions of my business where I was kind of like no all copilot, and you drive the car. And you can’t do that. Like you have to be the driver. And yes, mentorship is huge. And so helpful communities huge and so helpful. But you still have to drive.

 

Emily Merrell  38:13

I think that’s such a great metaphor, I love that metaphor. My husband would then say you also backseat as a co pilot to make me miss the exit.

 

Kelsey Smith  38:24

And that could happen like a man like that could happen. You could get a mentor like staying with that analogy, you could get a mentor or support person, I actually had a situation where I regret one of the people that I brought into my business and I shouldn’t say regret. It’s a learning I have a lot of different things I’ve learned, but it set me back a little bit. And so yeah, you might miss the turn, and you might have to go back. But at the end of the day, you have the ability to still be paying attention and not miss the turn. And you also have the ability to have the right person in the backseat or the copilot help you get where you want to go. And that’s just part of the journey.

 

Emily Merrell  39:00

 And figuring out what you actually asked a question the other day, and the session that you did for my mastermind. And it was like who were people that changed your life in some capacity. And I put down I put down a marketing agency that I had hired, and we at the end, we kind of left. I don’t want to say we left on bad terms. We just we went in different directions. But I’m really grateful for them because they gave me the framework to start this podcast. They gave me the framework to get really organized in my business to create systems I probably wouldn’t have thought of and while I didn’t need them to continue to set systems it was it was the Jumpstart of life. So I love I love how you you asked and phrase that reflection so I have one more question for you. Clearly I could try it you’re you’re often like oh my god time went by so fast. Talk to me. He’ll save one question for you. So before we move on to our six best questions, how do you? How do I say this? How do you embrace yourself identity outside of motherhood, since motherhood is also a big part of your identity in business? 

 

Kelsey Smith  40:14

Yeah. And so one thing is, was my community I say, motherhood alongside your identity, because I think that we do ourselves a disservice if we feel like we’re someone outside of motherhood. I think motherhood is a really interesting thing, because it’s a title that once you receive it, you never get rid of it. It’s not like a job or a business or anything else, or even marriage, right, you can become no longer a wife, but you’re never no longer a mom, again, once you take that title. So I think it we have to acknowledge that and sometimes that can feel really heavy. But figuring out who you are alongside of that, I think, is really important. And for me, it’s also this permission of I am always changing and evolving as a mom, but also as a person. So identifying who I am alongside or outside of that is constantly changing. What brings me joy, what I want to spend my time doing. There are things like you just getting girls nights with your friends that can be helpful. But I think it’s really more clarifying, like who that person is kind of how we started our conversation, and what do you want what brings you joy. Um, I went to an event last year, and I had like two events back to back. And then I went to a friend’s bachelorette party following night, and I was away from my kids for seven days. And it was the longest I’d been away from them. And by the end of it, I was ready to be home, I was ready to be mom, ready to be there. And I think about that week specifically, and how I was feeling because they were it was this roller coaster of I got to the event, I was feeling so good. I was like just Kelsey, no mom responsibilities being at events, actually, I find really helpful. Because while it can be stressful, there’s nothing you can do like you are at the event. So you can’t go half mom and half be at the event you’re there. And that allows you to really just be you rather than like being on a zoom call in your office when your kids are in the living room type of thing. So allowing yourself to really be in a space where you can only be you you can’t be mom at the same time allows you to kind of figure out who you are, if you’re not really sure. And then it was this transition in that specific instance for me where I went from one event to the next. And then I went to this bachelorette party that was a different version of me in some ways, right? Like I stand behind always being Kelsey, but there’s different layers to that. And then I was like, wait, I want to go home, I just want to be mom. So I think the beauty is allowing yourself to be all these different things. But how I really look at that and measure it for me is just staying in tune with who I am something I don’t do as well as I’d like to is things like journaling and meditating. And again, I created what I needed. And so that’s why we have journal prompts in the schools app in check ins, because I need to be like filling in a form I can’t just like sit in silently come to things on my own as much as I’d love to. So checking in with yourself getting some time alone, the best way that you can, we’ve had our kids primarily home for like a year now. And I will tell you, we don’t have like a ton of alone time. And when I do it, I’m doing things like this and working on podcasts. So there isn’t like empty brain time. That’s important, though. So finding that and figuring out who you are. And I try at the end of every day to to think of three wins, who was there when personally and professionally and as a family. And so that’s to me the alongside of each other, like, what did I do today? For me? What did I do today? Or what did we do? It doesn’t have to be me doing it? What did we do today as a family? And what did I do for my profession today? So my profession if you’re a stay at home mom, I that’s counts, right? Like what did you do to have success there? And then what did you have success for you as a person out sight of all of that. And that can be something so small, it can be taking a shower, it can be eating something you wanted to eat can be stepping outside for five minutes, or it can be bigger. But you have to think about like what would bring you joy. And the last example I’ll give you is I remember a friend was like we should go for a girls getaway. And in the season of life that I was in when she said that I was like I don’t want to do that. And I love that friend and I love all the people we would have gone with the I was in this place where I didn’t want to just go sit in another place and talk about the things I wanted. And I knew that that specific timeframe where we were all out in our lives, that would have been like a getaway vacation where there wouldn’t have been a lot of substantial conversation and I just wasn’t in a place to do that. And that’s okay, like I’m okay with that being for me. So I think just like real now those exact same people if they wanted to go on a girls trip right now, nothing has changed other than me to be able to feel so much happier about that. But I’m in a place now where I would have so much fun doing that and I I have so much fun, I’m going to Salt Lake City to speak, and I’m going to a mastermind event. And we’re going and doing these things as a family. So it’s really figuring out, like, if someone were to ask you, Hey, I’m gonna give you $1,000, you get to go do anything for yourself, what would you want to do? And why? Can you answer the question? And get really busy figuring out what you would even want to do? But hopefully, that helps is such a good answer. 

 

Emily Merrell  45:27

And also, I’m like, I’m going to the bachelorette party next week, and then I’m extending my trip to see another friend seven days away. I’m like, basically what you were describing, I know that feeling so well. 

 

Kelsey Smith  45:37

Good for you. I’m not saying not to do it. But then you just kind of do like an evaluation and check in after 1,000%. 

 

Emily Merrell  45:44

And I think it’s to your point, I think it’s great to be able to identity shift, and you gotta be Kelsey, the fun bachelorette party friends, and then you gotta be the speaker, Kelsey of business, Kelsey, and then you get to take it all off and yourself. Mom home. Yeah. LC. I think it’s beautiful. So Kelsey, how can people find out more about you? Find out more about mama has goals working with you. You’re speaking all of the fun things. 

 

Kelsey Smith  46:11

Yeah, well, if you love podcasts, come hang out with us at the mom has goals podcast, Emily has an episode over there, you should check out. And then Instagram is where I’m most active mama has goals. And personally, this is Kelsey Smith. And then you can also download the free phone app from wherever you get your apps from. And Mama, that’s just mama mo MMA am okay, I thought you were gonna then say and get the free ebook that I’m out of the world. 

 

Emily Merrell  46:40

Well, Kelsey, before we end, I love asking the six last question. So answer them with them. Whatever comes to your brain first and foremost. Are You Ready? Ready? Okay, tell us an unknown fun fact about you. Hmm. First one that comes to mind is we have a pet donkey named Coco. Great, fun fact. Love that. Who would be a dream person to be connected with one of my biggest inspirations and people I love their content right now is Jenna Kutcher. She’s a business coach, but I love how she shows up as like a friend and a mom even more I actually follow more of her personal content than I do her business. She’d be someone I’d love to just like sit down and chat with. I met her best friend and person who designed her home. So we’re essentially did with her and a girl who went to college with her. So we’re pretty much in our squad. Exactly. Perfect. Yeah. And her new home is beautiful. So I literally was looking at that. I was like when I designed my home. That person come out from Minnesota. Yeah, I mean, we could also move to Duluth and like, mansions. That’s option number two there. But yeah, the woman was incredible. So she was really cool. She was about her age, too. What show are you currently watching? So to be honest, I don’t really watch TV. I’m just never really have just prefer to do other things. But we have started catching up because I was so interested by everyone was talking about it. Emily and Paris. So we’ve been watching Emily in Paris. And that feels very fitting for this conversation. And I actually think it’s a really good show. And I’m enjoying it. It is a wonderful show, but it is you got to watch the bear next. Okay, the bear, the bear. Got it. Sounds good. I think it’s perfect for where you’re based. I think you’ll appreciate it. I’m very different than Emily and Paris though. We’re not there’s similarities. But what book are you reading? Or do you recommend reading? 

 

Kelsey Smith  48:41

Um, gosh, so many. So something that really shifted things for me was untamed, which, by Glennon Doyle, I was just in a place that that was exactly what I needed to read. So I do always come back to that because it really shifted my mindset on a lot of different things. But currently, right now I’m reading the big leap. 

 

Emily Merrell  49:01

Hmm, great one. favorite emoji.

 

Kelsey Smith  49:05

 Oh, gosh, totally depends on the mood. I love all emojis. But if I had to pick one right now, it would probably just like I heart eyes, everything. So it would probably be like the heart eyes emoji. 

 

Emily Merrell  49:18

And then my final question for you is Who gave you permission or inspired you to do the thing you wanted to do with your life? 

 

Kelsey Smith  49:26

We talked about this in my story, right? It was really me and my son, my oldest. But the part of the story that I did leave out was I remember when my son, my second son was two weeks old, and I was laying in my bed and my husband was standing next to the bed and I was like, I think write an e book. And neither of us have read an e book. And so he was like, Okay, you should do that. And there was that was as simple as the conversation was and I think I expected him to be like, why he’s so supportive, but for some reason I expected him to say like, why or what would you put in it? And he was just like, You should do that. I was Oh, well, I guess I got to do that. So he really was the springboard that moves me forward. But what got my brain turning was my son. I, I love that the two boys in your life are three boys in your life yet. 

 

Emily Merrell  50:13

I want to add one more question and I think this is one I’m going to ask moving forward. Pizza or tacos. 

 

Kelsey Smith  50:20

Oh my gosh, that is a hard, a hard one. But I’m gonna have to go with tacos. And my reason being is because I just feel like there’s so many options, you know, fish tacos, meat tacos, like, can I put grilled onions and peppers in it? That’s really I realized there’s so many different pizza toppings, but I don’t know. I’m gonna have to go with tacos. 

 

Emily Merrell  50:42

You chose the right answer. So say no. You did the right thing. Well, Kelsey, thank you so much for sharing your story sharing your insights on today’s podcasts are so fun having you as a guest. Thank you for having me. And listeners. If you liked today’s podcast, make sure to follow Kelsey on Instagram yet and download her app. And we will see you the next time. Have a great day everyone